Hey Friend!
A couple of months ago I took an online course. While the course was good, the biggest thing that I took away from it was a short, daily pre-bedtime routine that the instructor encouraged.
A guided journal page was provided, for both the morning and the evening, and at first I was wary: Another time commitment? Seriously? How helpful could this really be, especially when it was the same format each day? (Did these people get that I have a lot of little kids and not a lot of free time?)
And yet, to my surprise, I have found that this small practice has been deeply significant because it has helped change the way I look at each day.
Plus it only takes me five minutes at most.
Every night in a journal, I write answers to a few questions. Two of those questions have been especially transformative for me, and I’m hoping they might be for you, too.
The questions are:
– What three gifts were you given today?
– What three gifts did you give today?
The first time I saw these questions, I was slightly smug about the first (I’m always harping on being thankful to my kids, so surely I could easily find three things each night to remember with gratitude!), and slightly irritated by the second (what if I was super busy being a household executive and mama all day? Did making three meals a day qualify as a “gift”? What about vacuuming or folding someone’s underwear? Did giving a hug count?).
But, each night, I committed to thinking, remembering, and listing: Three things I had been given, three things I had given.
Asking to remember things I had been given as a gift quickly turned out to be a little bit different than merely jotting down “things I was thankful for”, because even if it turned out that I was writing the exact same things, to see them in the light of a gift was to create a shift in thinking.
It meant that I was acknowledging my place as a recipient of something (rather than continuously in the illusion of control), and that I was also acknowledging the giver and their kindness and intentional thoughtfulness toward me.
A gift is something given on purpose. So to recognize anything as a gift is also to recognize the meaningful action that someone made so that I could experience it.
Our God is the best gift-giver, of course, delighting to give good things to his children (Matthew 7:11). For me, many times a gift I wrote down has been from Him. To list something on the page and then be nudged by my own writing to tell Him, “Thank you for this today,” has been an incredible reminder of the tenderness, incomprehensible kindness, and deeply intimate nature of my Father.
He knows best what will give me the most joy and greatest encouragement, and it has been so precious to have my heart cared for in such a personal way. I have discovered that He often tucks little gift-moments for me throughout my day – but like a treasure hidden in plain sight, I have to be aware and alert to notice them or I pass right by.
For example, the other day a few of my children were in another room, discussing their favorite smells. I wasn’t in the conversation, as I was busy in the kitchen. I happened to overhear one of my younger sons tell the others that his favorite was the way Mom smelled when she first came out in the morning. (I guess he’s a fan of my shower gel and perfume!)
What made this sincere, funny comment so precious to me was the reminder that of all the people in the world, I am the one who has the ability to bring him the most comfort and sense of loving well-being – even if it’s just from the way I smell as he gives me a hug in the morning.
The gift here was not only knowing I am my child’s favorite smell (!), but that God has given me the humbling task of being such a pivotal and foundational part of my child’s formative years. He loves the way I smell because of what and who I am to him, and that responsibility is a gift from God to me.
It can often be a more intangible thing, like a thoughtful text from friend checking in on me. Or the way my husband calls me on his way home from work, then quietly listens while I tell him how hard and exhausting my day was, and then tells me he’s proud of me and thinks I’m doing an amazing job. (Yep, my husband makes it on the list very frequently.)
As for the second question: What three gifts have I given…?
To know that I will need to write answers to this question means that during my days I have started looking for things I can deliberately give: five minutes reading a short book with a struggling child who needs a little attention and a cuddle. A loving text to a friend who has been on my mind. Making a special treat for afternoon snack time that I know my kids will enjoy. Holding a toenail-painting session for my girls in the kitchen. Stopping for a minute to look one of my sons straight in the eyes and tell him something that I am really proud of and love about him. Giving my exhausted husband a shoulder massage. Writing an encouraging email to another weary mama of littles. Sending a card in the mail to a lonely long-distance loved one…
Because of this one little question, I have found that it motivates me to be much more intentional and take action on the many little things that could make a strong difference to others. And on the days when I don’t manage to complete what I had hoped, I know I will try again tomorrow.
I am grateful for grace and fresh starts.
Listing these things each night doesn’t make me feel arrogant, as I had initially thought I might. It actually only strengthens my sense of gratitude that I was able to do things that gave joy to others, and to discover the joy it gave my own heart when I did.
It’s become like an exciting challenge each day – what can I give? What can I notice that was given me? Both experiences bring joy. Both are beautiful gifts that come each day.
Each day can be full of beautiful gifts if we choose to see it that way.
There is joy found in receiving. There is joy found in giving. Becoming more aware of these joys has been a practice that gives more depth, intentional awareness, and delight to my days.
And it will for you, too.
Want to join me in my short-yet-meaningful evening journaling practice of looking for the gifts in each day?
Each night, take five minutes before you jump in bed. (Or fall in bed, or collapse into bed. Whatever it is you do, do this first!) Just grab a pencil and a blank notebook page, and answer these two questions:
– What are three gifts you were given today?
– What are three gifts you gave today?
Commit to keeping it up for a month. Then you can quit if you want. But you might find, like me, that it becomes a very valuable practice, and you might not be willing to put it aside.
Creating awareness of the gifts you have been given and the gifts you can give each day is also creating awareness of joy. Living with a heart abundant with joy and gratitude – that is the most beautiful gift ever.
– Maria
Please share this post on your social media! (It’ll be a gift you gave today, wink wink.) I’ll be thrilled and grateful!
To receive some beautiful parenting reminder cards to post around your home as a gift from ME, sign up in the side bar and I’ll email them to you ASAP!
