Have you ever noticed how sometimes you think you know something, but then you have to explain it or teach it to someone else, and as you do, that’s when you realize that it is suddenly clear to you for truly the first time?
For me it’s like a shot of excitement and even adrenaline as I experience the joy of learning. My kids sometimes just stare at me as I get enthusiastic and start waving my arms around, coming up with all kinds of (sometimes kooky) metaphors and analogies to get them as excited as I am. (I guess I’m making it clear that I am a total nerd. Often.)
The act of teaching it to someone else helped me learn!I’ve read that this is a common experience.
I think this is why God often allows our life to hold other people who need to learn something from us. Whether it’s our children, our younger siblings, our colleagues, or our clients, He’s graciously givingus the opportunity to learn something well by needing to teach it to others.
In my life I am constantly humbled by how little I know – but because I am constantly parenting my kids, I am (usually) thrilled to find I have the opportunity to learn things alongside my kids each day!
For me I find these learning moments often come during our family devotional or Scripture-reading times, or when I’m expounding on some theological truth to my children – and I’m overcome with tears because an aspect of God’s goodness or beauty suddenly became clarified to me.
These are moments of God’s grace. This experience is like a little love-note from my Father, who never gives up on me and who knows exactly what I need, every single day.
I’ve decided, in fact, that pretty much every time my family has a devotional or reads the Bible together, it seems that God is more interested in changing my heart and helping me learn something from His Word than about me making sure my children understand each theological nuance.
And maybe that’s what’s important. Teaching may really be about learning.
I’m going to be in a better place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually if I’m staying humble and listening to MY Father. I appear to teach better – in no matter what sphere of influence – when I’m also an eager and listening student.
So what are the places in your life where you have been given the role of teacher? And have you found, too, that often those are the areas where you can be startled by discovering your own learning growth, even as you teach?
I challenge you to ask God for a humble, learning heart. Give Him the permission to surprise you with a fresh discovery and brilliant illumination in a place in life or a topic you already thought you knew with your eyes closed.
The revelations come like a sting of joy. And it’s worth every ounce of the humble courage it takes to receive them with open hands and gratitude.
I’m so excited for us both as we continue to grow and learn and delight in fresh discoveries!
What’s something you learned recently that was surprising and unexpected in a good way?
Send me your response and let me know! Also, if you haven’t yet, sign up for your free set of 5 Parenting Reminder Cards printable and I’ll get those sent to you ASAP!
Barefoot, in the kitchen, on the floor, teaching my son 1st Grade Math. What this picture doesn’t show is the dishes in the sink, the piled laundry waiting to be folded, and the toddler wailing in the background while she clomps around the hall in my shoes. Welcome to my home school life.
(PART 2)
In my last article (found here:), I wrote about keeping the focus big and bright on only four basics:
Mathematics, Reading, Writing, and Character Development.
Let’s talk Math!
At this early age, Math is pretty straightforward. (Even if Math scares you a little, like it does for me.) I try to keep it as one of the first subjects we do each day so that their minds are fresh and ready to tackle it well!
Depending on your child’s learning style, there are many options that could work.
I tend to keep it pretty simple and use A Beka workbooks. They are repetitive but very thorough, so I know my child will be solidly grounded in the math facts by the end of the grade. They usually cost around $22-25, and are widely available.
I also don’t get the answer keys since the math is so basic I figure I don’t need them at this level. (Don’t tell A Beka.)
I have a small bin of plastic “counting bears” as a visual aid for addition and subtraction for my earliest learners, and to explain lower-level multiplication/division. Anything small will work – buttons, beans, toy cars, crayons, Cheerios… (just don’t be surprised if the Cheerios start disappearing mysteriously).
Other moms I know have kids who do better with other math curriculum, like Math-U-See or Singapore Math. It really comes down to how your child learns best.
Try not to get too bogged down in research before you just start. It can become so overwhelming that decision-paralysis sets in.
If your child is genuinely struggling, pray about it first. The God who created your child’s mind and heart will help bring you the wisdom and resources you need. It’s remarkable how suddenly the connections and information you’re looking for will gently become clear in the upcoming days. It’s another way God shows His loving care and concern for every aspect of our lives.
The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.
Psalm 37:23, NLT
Sometimes He’ll bring along another mom with a kid who learns remarkably similarly to yours, and you can get help and advice along with friendly support!
You know your child.
Trust your gut and trust that you are the best person to figure out how to help them learn in the way that most fits them.
If your child is a slow and deliberate math student (I have at least one of these), it might be a good idea to set a timer, and take a break from whatever else you are doing to sit with them and patiently explain and help. Kind voice, no judgement, just pretend you’re a tutor with nothing else to do but patiently help this child have a pleasant interaction with math for a brief time.
Start with 15 mins (or less), if they’re struggling. Then slowly work up to 30 mins. When the timer rings, math is done for the day. Even if they’ve only got through half a page. Or less. At the start it should be more about teaching consistency and familiarity with concepts. And avoiding tears. (For them and you!)
Then, as they get a bit older and more confident, another helpful idea is to plan something fun or different that they enjoy immediately following math (if math is more of a challenge for them). Have a coloring or LEGO-time for 20 mins afterwards, or a fun snack, or let them run outside and blow bubbles or build a fort in the living room, or have a read-aloud time with an enjoyable book, cuddling together.
If your child is more like a streak of light able to rush and get through math quickly (I’ve got a few of these), require a minimum amount per day – for me it’s one lesson (2 pages), and I check in often to make sure they understand what they’re doing.
But for the most part, these lightning-learners only need my help with explaining a new concept – and then they’re off again. Sometimes I have to slow them down and encourage them to breathe – my young daughter flew through seven lessons without stopping the other morning, and I wanted to make sure she was grasping the new material.
Home school is wonderful in that if your child wants to fly and feels confident shooting through the material in a subject, they can!
They are not being held back by the lowest common denominator, but can move quickly on to something that actually challenges them more, even if it is beyond their peer-group grade level.
Home school is phenomenal in that if your child needs extra time and nurturing in a subject so that they achieve mastery before moving on, they have that opportunity!
They are able to receive the attention and tailored approach they need to thrive and learn. This relieves the stress, fear, and the feelings of inadequacy and insecurity that can easily develop in a forced group-learning style when something is more of a challenge for them.
One day I sat at the table and helped one child with two things: how to write a number eight (my child was stumped) and what the ten’s place value was. For thirty minutes we did nothing else except practice swooping 8’s, and discussing and practicing place value.
Guess what? While we did not get through even a fraction of the workbook that day, by the end there was an encouraged smile in place of tears, a new pride in the smoothly-written 8’s on the page, and a secure grasp of place value for two-digit numbers.
This was serious math success because of the way my child had experienced math in a positive, confident way. This is when home schooling seriously rocks!
What a precious gift this kind of learning can be – for their heart and yours.
So take a deep breath, mama. You got this! I’m cheering you on.
– Maria
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If you have any questions or want to know more about what I use and how I homeschool, send me your question in the comments and I will get back to you!
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Next up! Part 3- How I Home School K-3rd Grade Now: READING! Woohoo! (Can you tell I’m excited?)
With my crew of eight littles ages 11 through 2 years, each day is always very interesting.
Time doesn’t seem to flow around here – it moves in blurbs and dashes, sometimes with a big splotch for emphasis, like Morse Code mixed with a Jackson Pollack.
Which leaves me often desperate for some kind of analyst to tell me what’s really going on here, to interpret the big picture, because I can easily lose focus and forget what the main point is.
What am I talking about again? Oh, right. Home schooling.
I believe that home school can be satisfying, fulfilling, and (gasp) even enjoyable – for you and your kids.
I want to underwhelm you by sharing what I do in home schooling so that you get excited about the privilege and joyful position you’ve been given to teach your children, rather than stressed and overwhelmed with pressure and performance anxiety.
Here is the main point for my home schooling of my Kindergarten – 3rd Grade kids:
RIGHT NOW, in this season of life, I need to focus on the basics. That’s it.
What are the basics, you ask? Glad you asked!
For me right now, here’s the (short) list:
Mathematics
Reading
Writing
Character Development (the most important, hence the last one)
There we have it, folks. Otherwise known as “The Three ‘R’s” (apparently people couldn’t spell well back in the day, probably because they didn’t have Google or spell check) combined with intentional, godly parenting.
I feel like sighing with relief every time I remember this list.
It makes me glad I home school.
Because educating your kids at home shouldn’t be a heavy, oppressive burden. It’s just easy to make it that way. We have a choice to make it better – for ourselves and our kids.
Also, think about the things that might be on your “required” list for homeschooling which may not be a true requirement.
Guilt or comparison or tradition are terrible reasons for any scholastic pursuit, even if it seems fun or “educational” or “encourages creativity” or is guaranteed to assure your child a spot in an swanky university in ten years.
Be honest. If something is starting to feel like you’re including it in your school day without a good reason, I’d suggest taking a hard look at why it’s there.
If it’s draining you or your child and creating a time-vacuum that wreaks havoc on the rest of your day, or if your other children and responsibilities are suffering, drop that sucker like a hot potato.
(Which reminds me, what’s for dinner? Potatoes?)
For me, a lot of extra subjects, big projects, and in-depth studies for my kids at their young age is only going stress me and them out, create a lot of mess in my home very full of little humans, and stress me out. (I get stressed twice when the occasion calls for it.)
Home school should really be about a healthy way of incorporating education into the home life you have, not enforcing a rigid school-at-home.
In an upcoming post I will elaborate on each of these “Basics” and what I actually do to include them in my (home school) day. In the meantime, take heart:
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. -(2 Peter 1:3)
This includes raising and teaching your kids. So take a moment to thank Him for this incredible gift!
In a large family with so many littles, I’ve had to streamline and simplify how I teach reading.
I use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons (by Siegfied Engelmann, Phyllis Haddox & Elaine Bruner, Touchstone Publishing) with a significant twist!
This battered copy has been through six children so far… starting the seventh sometime later this year!
If you are at all familiar with this book, you know that the sounds and words to be taught are in a large, bold font. After the first introductory lessons which do not have stories, each lesson has a simple picture with a “story” (some of only a sentence or two, others much longer) for the child to read which practices the sounds and words they learned. (Some of these stories are a hoot, and my children grew to anticipate whatever funny story they would read that day!)
This book uses a special orthographic (how words are spelled) font so that children become familiar with the sounds certain letters make without being confused by sound rules.
Each lesson also comes with a carefully detailed script – both for the parent to say/teach (in pink print) and an expected response from the child for each lesson. They also give writing exercises, rhyming activities, picture comprehension questions, and multiple questions/answers throughout each lesson.
Confession time: I only focus on the bold print when I teach my children reading from this book.
Yep, I brazenly ignore all the fine print, writing exercises, rhyming, and multiple admonishments for repeated readings. (I know, shocking!)
This way there is a lot less drag and irritation from the slow progress, and my kids and I can zip through the first several lessons without even breaking a sweat. Because the book starts very simply, teaching only two sounds in the first lesson, then slowly building each time, I often find that my child can easily cover multiple lessons in the early days, then as the reading increases and the stories at the end become a little longer, we “slow down” to about two or so for each reading session. (One of my children was so excited by her progress that she insisted on covering about four to five lessons each time we worked on her reading!)
Here’s my method in the madness, broken down:
1. I use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but teach using only the bold text without following the script.
I use it as a resource, not a mandated method. My kids react with irritation if I try to slowly go through all fine-print script, slowing us all down and increasing frustration. When I let it go, they start to fly through the lessons with increasing enthusiasm and excitement. It is an easy choice.
2. I use the actual lessons as a general guide, but go at the pace my child sets, rather than insisting he/she completes a set number of lessons or pages.
If we are struggling through one lesson and don’t even finish and ten minutes is up, I often say cheerily, “OK, let’s get to the end of this line (or to the bottom of this page) and then let’s stop for the day! Great work so far!” because then my child knows the end is in sight and is encouraged to keep going for just a little longer.
I try to generally aim for about ten minutes at least for “reading time” with me, in addition to whatever books they read to themselves or each other before bedtime or during quiet time.
Once in a while, I know my child is just being a punk and decided that he/she doesn’t feel like doing the work of reading that day. So then I will tell them that they need to complete a page (or a lesson) before moving on to another activity (like playing), and if they refuse, they will lose that other activity. As the mom of my kids, I can tell when it’s totally an attitude thing versus a real problem like an illness or exhaustion or low blood sugar.
Even though I want reading to be enjoyable, sometimes getting to that point will be work. And teaching my child that work is part of life is never a bad thing.
3. I often fit “reading time” in with normal life. This means that after we get through the initial lessons and my child is more confident in reading, I often have a child sitting (or lying!) on a mat on the kitchen floor next to me or sitting on the couch, reading aloud, while I clean up breakfast dishes, fold laundry, or cook dinner. I stay close and keep an eye on their book and can usually direct them easily if they make an error or need a reminder about a certain sound, or can chat with them about the picture and discuss the story.
This way I can get through about two or three children’s reading lessons (usually the most I have in this learning stage is three kids at a time) while still getting through the regular household things that I need to accomplish for our family.
4. I never insist that we finish the book!
I have experienced now with several children that by the time they reach around lesson 75 (three-quarters of the way through the book), they have enough confidence and reading skills that they have already begun reading other books that they themselves have chosen, on topics they find interesting. THIS IS SUCCESS.
Some of my kids never go back to 100 Easy Lessons because they self-teach new words and sounds through other materials. (Often later they go back and read the fun stories at the end of each lesson, merely as an entertainment rather than a scholastic endeavor.)
And I cheerily put it back on the shelf to wait for the next upcoming reader, knowing it has successfully completed its mission of helping me teach reading to my child.
Booyah! Victory.
There you have it, the basic way I teach reading in my home. Up next: Part Three: How I cope with specific challenges like wiggly kids, meltdown-days, and learning difficulties.
