When Reading Runs Amuck: How I Combat Some Reading-Time Challenges
Sometimes reading time slants sideways even before the book is opened.
Yes, even for my family of book-lovers, these times come too. The whining and complaining starts, and bargaining for a really short lesson or a different activity begins. Thirst, hunger, exhaustion and mental fatigue strike with astonishing speed, and the chores that earlier seemed so tedious and unimportant suddenly appear fascinating and urgent. Kids who can intently focus on a game or something else they enjoy suddenly can’t seem to hold still or concentrate for more than three seconds.
Here’s the list of questions I run through to figure out how to triage the reading blues:
1. Is there a physical need or problem my child is facing?
Are they tired, hungry, or cranky? Are they dealing with a cold or another ailment? If any of these things are a yes, I will try to cut the lesson shorter, or just shelve it till we have resolved the problem. Otherwise it’s just not worth the emotional struggle.
I want my kids to love reading and to have good feelings about it! Pushing through when they’re having a hard time or are feeling poorly is a sure-fire way to create resentment and frustration, not to mention significant weepiness. (And that’s not even talking about my kid’s reaction.)
2. Is there a natural personality or behavioral trait at work, or is this abnormal behavior?
Are they naturally more energetic and wiggly, finding sitting still a challenge?
If it’s squirminess within that particular child’s normal range, I try to work with it instead of fighting it, especially at a young age. As they grow older and gain more self control, sitting or standing still can be worked on with less resistance and greater ease.
Some people have a natural tendency to concentrate better while they’re moving – even as adults. Instead of fighting this and making everyone miserable, I figure, why not be creative and plan to accommodate the wiggle? Reading becomes so much more pleasant and successful!
I have had one son, my earliest reader, stand next to me while I sat on the floor with the reading book. He squirmed, waved his arms, hugged himself, kicked his legs, and bounced around me the whole time – but he was actively reading the sounds. He did an amazing job – but I had to be willing to adjust to his unorthodox, squirmy method of learning with patience and grace. I now have fond memories of these reading lessons, since I saw the rapid progress he made when he was free to physically move as he needed.
I do try my best to gauge whether it is a natural energetic movement where the child is still able to focus and concentrate well on the reading, or if the wiggles are just a sign of boredom or resistance to facing a challenge. If I’m finding that my child is distracted and unable to read while wiggling, then I do encourage more deliberately quiet positioning, but perhaps after a timed period of short exercise like five laps around the back yard or twenty burpees as fast as possible!
3. Is this a learning area that they have been finding an ongoing challenge or is this new?
Some kids just naturally take to reading. While they may have some rocky patches and off-days, in general the path from letters to sounds to words and sentences is generally straight and mostly smooth.
Other children’s experience can be more challenging – like they suddenly were thrown off a safe, high cliff into deep and murky waters where every vowel sound changes ominously and compound sounds lurk like sharks. (At least, that’s the impression I get from reading with them!)
Some kids really do need more time and help with reading. One of mine requires extra patience and persistence, since it seems that almost every lesson something previously learned is forgotten and we’ve lost some ground. We have been making good progress in spite of the setbacks, however, and it’s important for me to remember to look back and see how far we’ve come, and the overall general success we’ve already achieved!
Any learning challenge can potentially be very draining, discouraging, and exasperating for both parent and child. It’s important to hold on and just keep going in short, cheery bursts as often as possible, celebrating small victories with a big smile and sincere excitement (and maybe a small treat or a fun activity.)
Consistence with persistence… and get assistance if you need it! There is so much more information and help available nowadays for parents who are helping children through dyslexia and other learning issues, and sometimes the best way to teach your child to read is to let someone else help you do it if you’re struggling, with no guilt or shame about it.
Here’s to raising eager readers!