Category: Purposeful Life

How to Celebrate Easter = How to Remember the Truth

Because Resurrection Sunday is so important to our family, I have planned a joyous feast for my littles – special foods that take extra time and care. I purposefully use special decorations and prepare for traditions we only do this day each year.

The “Garden Tomb” (complete with russet potato tomb hollowed out with a spoon) is ready for the bright floral transformation tomorrow. Toothpick soldiers stand guard now, ready to flee or fall down by morning.
The bread dough is rising, the eggs have been peeled, the créme Anglaise for the trifle is chilling. We will hide little treats and gifts (each with a color-coded piece of yarn) for a joyful hunt my children declare is their most favorite tradition of all –

And yet.

If these things do not point to the Truth – this celebration is a mere shadow of the Celebration of all celebrations we will join, this feast is to remind us of the Feast of all feasts with our risen and conquering King in the world to come – then it holds as much substance as a marshmallow chick.

In the feasting and rejoicing, the delighting of delicious food and new life and remembering our risen Lord, it is good to not just look back, but to look forward.

We celebrate to remember that we are going home someday to an incredible Celebration that will never end.

We feast to remember we will feast at our King’s table – with all the host of faithful witnesses who have gone before us and also those who now wait for him with us.

We joyously sing with our fellow sojourners in Sunday services to remember we will one day roar his praise in our native tongue in our true Homeland.

And we let our children to seek for that which is sweet and precious to try to show that our Lord was once hidden but can be found for those who search for him – and that he is most precious of all, and sweetest of all delightful things.

It is through these traditions and celebrations and joyful feastings we create a space for a deep homesickness to rise up in our heart and the hearts of those with us. (1 Peter 2:9-12)

Jesus rose from death so that we can live without fear or shame, now covered by his righteousness like royal robes, ambassadors for his Kingdom and crowned heirs of his glory. (2 Cor. 5:20)

We celebrate our King’s resurrection to remind ourselves that this day is unlike any other, and is the one thing that gives purpose and meaning to our lives. (1 Cor. 15:12-19)

Let us celebrate so fiercely, so joyously, and so weighted with the coming glory we will share, that those who are without this joy cannot help but see the fire and light in us, and ask us the reason for the hope we carry. (1 Peter 3:15)

A blessed and joyous Resurrection Sunday celebration to you and your loves.

HE IS RISEN INDEED!

  • Wear your crown, carry your sword. -Maria Miller
  • Please share this, thanks! And join the email list so these (infrequent) postings are easily dropped in your inbox!

How to Be the Story of the Glorious Kingdom, Part 3

… We are citizens of heaven, and are called to live in a manner worthy of our King and his Kingdom (Philippians 1:27).

So how do we do this?

The simple answer is far from easy: We become the People of his Book.

To consider the Holy Bible as the highest treasure of our hearts and the strongest connection to our King and our homeland is the simplest, most straight-forward way to live out our calling as Ambassadors.

The Spirit-inspired Scriptures are to be in our thoughts, words and actions – every day. We need to carefully, sincerely, and reverently read them, ponder them and pray them. We are to sing them, teach them, write them and live them.

But most of all, we are to love the Scriptures – because if we do, the rest will follow. 

"And now, what does the LORD your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the LORD your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul. And you must always obey the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good." (Deuteronomy 10:12-13)

Ambassadors appointed on behalf of their nation do not lose their distinctive language, traditions, customs, philosophies or citizenship merely because they are stationed in a foreign country. On the contrary – it is because they are constantly representing their homeland and government that they remain unmistakably different from the local culture around them.

We are called to live unmistakably different lives as citizens of Heaven.

We have been given the “Protocol Guidebook” of our nation’s customs, language, history, beliefs and laws – it deserves our daily, intentional, devoted study and thought. How else will we understand our own King’s laws? Speak our country’s language? How else can we explain to others why they should want to immigrate there, or how our King vastly surpasses any other ruler in excellence? How else can we accurately disciple and mentor other younger citizens (our children or any given to us to teach) so that they can one day fill their own appointments in their own embassies?

This should be our passionate desire – to be so deeply steeped in the Book of our King that if he should come on a visit of State, we would not be ashamed by how we have been representing him, but delighted to introduce the One we have so faithfully served to those around us.

And what joy to have those people say – “Now we believe, not just because of what you told us, but because we have heard him ourselves. Now we know that he is indeed the Savior of the world.” (John 4:42)

  • Wear your crown. Carry your sword. – Maria

*To get these stories dropped easily in your inbox where you can find them fast, simply sign up! And please share – Thanks a million!

The Story of the Glorious Kingdom, Part Two

Photo by Luis Fernando Felipe Alves on Unsplash

If you, like me, claim Jesus to be your Savior and King, the Story of the Glorious Kingdom (click on it to read if you missed it!) is not just a fairy tale. 

It’s OUR story.  

WE have been set free from the dark kingdom and are now commissioned as Ambassadors of the Glorious Kingdom. This is OUR King’s book, written in the language of the Kingdom, carrying His instructions and teaching us all we need to carry out our calling as His representatives. 

The definition of “Ambassador” is: a person of high-rank appointed by their ruler to represent them and their country for a special and temporary assignment in a foreign country. (I checked Wikipedia)

This is the perfect description for who we are called to be as followers of Christ: 

  • Adopted into his family as sons and daughters of the Most High God (Ephesians 1:4-5) – we’re nobility personified! We are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, Peter says (1 Peter 2:9) – those called to mediate between God and the people who don’t yet know him as King.
  • We’ve been appointed to represent our ruler and his kingdom: 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 says God has given us this task of reconciling people to him, emphatically stating: “We are Christ’s ambassadors.” 
  • It’s a unique assignment to each of us, because we each are unique creations, specially placed in the circumstances, locations, and in the communities we are because we each have a unique work to do: 1 Corinthians 12:12-26 compares us as a group of believers as a body with many varied parts, all working to accomplish a unified goal. Ephesians 2:10 declares we each have been created in Christ Jesus to do the good works that God himself prepared before time for us each to do!
  • It’s a temporary assignment because we each don’t know how long we have or when we will be either placed somewhere else, or called back to our homeland. Our lives are not our own, and tomorrow is not promised. Therefore we work each day we’ve been given as best we can, knowing we might be called home tomorrow! Psalm 90:12 prays that we might know the brevity of our lives and live wisely because of it.
  • We’re to consider ourselves as foreigners and outsiders because this world is not our home and we are not to hold onto it too tightly – we are citizens of heaven, and are called to live in a manner worthy of our King and his Kingdom (Philippians 1:27). 1 Peter 2:11 exhorts, “Dear friends, I warn you as temporary residents and foreigners to keep away from the worldly desires that wage war against your souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors… [so that] they will give honor to God when he judges the world.”

And the question likely burning in your mind now is… “HOW? How do we do this?” (Stay tuned…)

Wear your crown. Carry your sword. – Maria

*To get these stories dropped easily in your inbox where you can find them fast, simply sign up! And do please share – Thanks a million!

The Story of the Glorious Kingdom: Part One

Photo by Gary Ellis on Unsplash

Let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time, there was a glorious kingdom ruled by a monarch of unsurpassed excellence, wisdom, and might. This king had two adopted children, and daily he met with them in the palace gardens to teach them about the kingdom. They had wonderful times together, and they loved each other dearly.

There was, however, an insidious and evil High Chancellor who plotted to take the throne! He had planted his traitorous spies and assassins throughout the kingdom. 

One dark night, war broke out.  Though the King and his armies were victorious, as the enemy retreated, the royal children were kidnapped and taken as prisoners. 

Gagged, bound, beaten, thrown into a filthy cart, they could only weep in terror and sorrow as they watched their beloved home shrink in the distance. 
The dark shadowy mist of the wild territory of their enemy became all they knew in the months ahead.  They were forced to work as slaves deep in the mines of the enemy’s fortress, chained in the cold darkness and treated with brutality. 

The children tried to recall the things their King-Father would talk about with them in the gardens back in the wonderful, dreamlike days before their imprisonment, but it was hard to remember clearly. Hope was thin and threadbare.

Then, one day, an unusual Messenger rode into the dark territory – an Ambassador sent by the King of the glorious Kingdom! He had come to reclaim not only his children, but all the slaves, and had brought an unimaginably large amount of treasure as ransom. 

Their foul enemy mockingly laughed as he greedily counted the treasure, for he planned to keep the ransom and the slaves and kill the Ambassador. 

Suddenly his laughter strangled in his throat, and he cowered like a dog, as the Ambassador threw off his outer robes and was revealed to be – the King himself, with a blazing sword in hand and fire in his eyes!

The King contemptuously and furiously beat him with the flat of his sword, sending him yelping in pain and humiliation and scurrying like a rat out the nearest door. 

Then the King searched the dungeons till he found his children. He struck off their chains and brought them out to a light-filled open square. He wept with joy as he held their bruised, filthy bodies close to his heart. 

Kissing their faces and looking into their tear-filled eyes, he told them that though they were now free, it was not yet time to return home. 

In the meantime, they were to tell as many slaves as possible that their time of enslavement was over!  Because their freedom was purchased by the King, they now had citizenship and a future home in the glorious Kingdom. They and any slave who claimed the King as their own would be given full rights and citizenship as his royal children.

The King had the children bathed and fed, and gave them clean, lovely robes and bright crowns of gold to wear as proof that they were his Royal Ambassadors. 

Then he pulled from his bag a large leather book, carefully copied by his own hand. Written in the language of the glorious kingdom, it contained all that the Ambassador-Children would need to know to complete their task before the King returned. 

As he handed them each a copy of his Book, it transformed into swords exactly like His – swords that glowed with a warm white light, strong enough to kill a dragon, sharp enough to split a hair, yet light enough that a child could carry it. 

The children solemnly and with fierce joy strapped on their weapons. Then after one last long embrace and promise of His swift return, the King rode off.

The children, watching, saw his strong, upright form slowly grow faint in the mist. Then they turned, bright faced, back to the dark territory to start the task of declaring to the other slaves the same truth and promise they had been given, and to wait with fierce joy for their King-Father’s victorious return. 

(Part Two coming soon – stay tuned!)

Wear your crown. Carry your sword. – Maria

Like this story? Please share it! (Thanks!) Remember to drop your name in the sign-up so that you can get these stories and articles dropped easily in your inbox!

Because A Simple “So What” Gives More Powerful Purpose

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it.

1 Peter 3:15

I once attended a book-writing conference in another state. I had a rough manuscript of substantial length, words that I had written with deep emotion and intention – but when one of the guest speakers happened to sit at my table and ask, “So, what’s your book about?”, I completely froze. Then I stammered some muddled phrases that left him (and frankly, me) confused.

I was mortified. I had even tried to prepare for this question beforehand – but I realized too late the problem: the stated purpose of my book was not clear or short enough to remember well. Under stress it became incoherent.

The valuable lesson I learned that day: Be ready to clearly state the ‘so what’. And make it snappy, sister. Because if no one gets what you’re trying to offer – if it’s not clear and easily shareable – you’re not going to make a lot of impact. 

So what’s YOUR “So what”? If someone who didn’t know you very well asked you “So what’s your story?” Or “So what do you do?” (or a similar question – and answering with your job description seems so trivial), do you know what you would say in a sentence or two? Does this question make you squirm with sudden discomfort? (I feel you.)  

Good news! You get to make a “So what” statement for yourself! I can help.

Creating a “So what” statement (commonly known as a personal mission statement) for yourself does two things:

  1. Tells others what your main purpose – and why it matters
  2. Leads you to do what matters most

A “So What” statement helps you chisel down to the core of what you’re about for others. It also gives you a guideline to help you make the best decisions for where you want to spend your valuable time and energy – and ultimately your precious God-given life. 

This can also be a source of freedom in liberating you to say no to things that don’t fall inside the lines of your main purpose.

As an Ambassador of Christ, the ‘so what’ should be something we all work to define for our lives – whether we herd goats, lay carpet, raise little humans, or do brain surgery.

While ultimately our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy him forever (Westminster Catechism, answer to “What is the chief purpose of man?”), we must work this out on a personal level to understand what and where our greatest impact is in this season.

(If you are unable to agree truthfully with the big picture purpose of glorifying and enjoying God, perhaps you should start with “Why don’t I?”. I recommend John Piper’s “Desiring God”, “When I Don’t Desire God”, “A Hunger for God”, or “The Pleasures of God” as great resources.)

So how do we come up with that juicy yet clear “So what” answer? One simple format to follow is to fill in the blanks in this sentence:

“I [action] by [ability/skill] for [people you reach] to [desired result].”

And rearrange the sentence as you need. For example: a fiction author might say: “I create stories that inform, entertain, and inspire people around the world.”

Or a homeschool mom: “I train and educate my children to become compassionate, godly and hard-working members of society and disciples of Christ.”

Is there a lot more to this? Yes! But this is a great starting place. 

Why does it matter whether or not you articulate a personal “So What” statement?
Because a simple, clear description of your “So what” gives your purpose power. 

It helps you simplify what is most important to you – and what you can let go of to prioritize your precious time. This gives you clarity to live purposefully the precious life God has given you.

Go strongly, friend. 

Wear Your Crown, Carry Your Sword. – Maria Miller

If you want a free cheat sheet with more help and tips on how to create your own purpose statement, you can get access to my exclusive free printable page by signing up to receive my articles in your inbox - the password is immediately sent to you! 
(If you’ve already signed up, you’ll be getting an email with the password.)  

I’d love to hear what YOUR “So What” statement is – please email me to share it with me!

(If this article was encouraging, inspiring or helpful to you – would you please share it? Thanks!)

Overcome Fear – Live Life with Strong Courage

A Story of a Young Queen & Her Triumph Over Fear of Death
Photo by Houcine Ncib on Unsplash

Once there was a beautiful little girl who was raised in exile by her older cousin because her parents were dead and their homeland was far away. She was given a new name, spoke the language of her new country, and was taught to never share her ethnic background. 

One day, as a lovely young woman, she was unexpectedly forced into a mandatory national beauty contest for all young women in the land. Despite the fierce competition, she won! She suddenly gained a crown, a palace, a position as Queen of all the land – and a king for a husband, notorious for his temper and tyranny.

Soon afterwards, an evil nobleman favored by the king rose in authority and used his influence to schedule a massive genocide of a certain people group he hated – little realizing it was the people of the new queen.

Urged by her cousin to use her royal position to plead for mercy from the king, the young queen was shaken and afraid. The king had not asked to see her for over a month, already seemingly indifferent to his new bride. To enter his court without being summoned was punishable by death for the reckless disrespect it showed. 

Once again the cousin repeated his urging – if not her, who? If not now, when? Be certain, he warned, that if she remained silent and did nothing to stop this evil, God would indeed save their people by other means, while she would surely be destroyed for her inaction in this crisis – along with all her family.

Taking a deep breath, the queen accepted her role as advocate for her doomed people, asking only that they first fervently pray for her for three days. Then she would approach the king in his court, illegal though it might be, and risk the outcome – even her own death.

Today is the first day of Purim, the feast of Queen Esther, the courageous queen who acted with wisdom and discernment in interceding for the very lives of her people in the face of what seemed certain death. God – who had made an unbreakable promise to Abraham that the entire world would be blessed through his family – brought salvation to his chosen people, and eventually to the entire world through the birth of the Jewish Messiah Jesus years later. 

While her predicament might seem unrelatable in some ways – not many of us will ever experience pleading for the lives of our people from a despotic king at the risk of our own – if we look at the heart of her fear we can suddenly relate quite well.

What was she so afraid of?

Dying – losing her life and thereby losing everything. Yet her death was inevitable – as is yours and mine. Trying to escape death is futile – it will eventually come (unless the Lord returns first).

What matters is what is done in the time before we die.

What makes the time you have here before your death worthwhile?

What has God called you to and shaped you for? What unique situation and role has been set before you in this season of your life?

What have you been given to do that might scare you? Where have you been called to advocate or shine where you would rather stay silent and hidden?

We will all die. This life is a gift of an hourglass and we all don’t get to know how many grains of sand are left for each of us before we are called home and we fly away (Psalm 90).

What we can do is to be like Queen Esther: Let us first seek our Father-King’s favor and the strength that he gives, pleading with him daily for the wisdom to walk the unique role set before us. Then, let us put on our royal best and, with gracious humility and poise, ACT.

We are not called to live this life safely and silently.

The outcome is not in our hands but the story will not be as satisfying without our courageous actions being part of it. 

Perhaps this is the moment for which YOU have been created.

(Paraphrase of Esther 4:14)

And by “perhaps”, I mean: It is.  You have been placed in this time and this place for a purpose. Fight the fear.

Live courageously. 

We are not promised tomorrow.

Wear Your Crown, Carry Your Sword. – Maria Miller

How to Find New Hope in Homeschooling Your Child

Photo by Belinda Fewing on Unsplash

I Was Ready to Quit Homeschooling – Then I Read This Book

“I want to quit.” I said to my husband, grimly blinking back tears. “I hate homeschooling.”

Shoulders hunched in defeat, brow furrowed with frustration, heart full of self-reproach, I was not only on the struggle-bus, I was driving it. Off a cliff. 

Homeschooling a slew of kids (I have eight – at the time of this story, my youngest was an infant, my oldest was ten) while also managing a busy home with a baby and two toddlers was slowly but surely burying me under a crushing load of my own expectations, along with all the dirty laundry, dishes, diapers, and dinners.

We had always wanted to homeschool – before we even had kids we had planned to homeschool. 

We always had homeschooled, from when my tribe only consisted of two tiny girls who were excited by reading lessons and practicing writing letters and numbers, all the way through growing from those two kids to eight altogether.

But now?

I wept in utter discouragement and exhaustion to my husband at night: “I just don’t think I’m doing this right. I don’t think I know how to do this. I can’t keep up. I think I’m not teaching them enough. I’m not doing enough. I don’t think I’m good enough to be their teacher. I can’t even keep up with the laundry!” 

He quietly listened, held me, and then, a couple days later, he gave me an incredible gift: Homeschool Bravely, by Jamie Erickson, herself a former elementary teacher, and a homeschool mama of five.

I had never heard of it.

I read through the chapters carefully, slowly, often with tears of relief and comfort at the encouragement, understanding, and gentle wisdom I found.

This woman understood the struggle I was in. She addressed so many of the situations and questions I struggled with while giving so much grace for each family’s unique situation and personality.

I read and reread parts when I was gritty with frustration and discouragement, each time finding hope and courage to keep going.

The best part? 

I was reminded of why I was doing this in the first place – It refreshed my heart and renewed my purpose. And I was set free from the guilt and burden of my own heavy expectations that were not something I should have picked up in the first place.

Most of all, Jamie’s book reminded me of who I was – beloved and precious in the sight of my Father God – and that my status with Him is not dependent on how I homeschool. My feelings of failure, discouragement and defeat in homeschooling did not reflect my worth or my identity as a child of God. 

If you are in the need of some real in-the-trenches help and hope from a mom who’s been there and writes honestly and lovingly, I think this is one book every homeschool mom should read. 

Find your courage, refresh your heart, restore your confidence as you teach your precious kids at home. Homeschool Bravely helps you do all three.

You can do this, whether it’s for a short season or for a long haul.

You have a community of encouraging, wise, and heart-filling homeschooling mamas walking this road too. 

I will always be grateful that one of them took the time to write this book for the rest of us.

(Thank you, Jamie! Your words poured strength, courage, and hope back into my heart when I needed it most. I will always be deeply grateful.)

I wrote this post out of a genuine desire to help other mamas find the hope and help they need in homeschooling their kids and did not in any way receive any compensation, monetary or otherwise, from Jamie Erickson. Just sayin’.

If you enjoyed this post, would you please share it?

And please comment to let me and others know if you’ve been particularly blessed and helped by a specific book lately! Thanks!

As always, if you’d like to have these posts delivered easily and simply to your inbox, drop your email and they will begin to appear there for your reading pleasure and edification without any effort on your part (like magic, but better).

How to Use Courageous Humility to Bring New Connection

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Dinner was steaming on the table. Anger was shimmering in the air. 

It had been a long, hard day, and the afternoon had dissolved into an evening mashup of bickering, belligerent selfishness, snotty remarks, and defiant disobedience.

My husband wasn’t even home yet, since it was another long work day, and the eight kids and I were eating later than I had hoped. A sense of helpless discouragement over my inability to keep on time stabbed me mercilessly, even as the seething anger at my kids rose like an acidic heartburn.

“Everyone, sit down and be quiet!” I snapped, trying to quell the unending verbal antagonization. 

As the kids settled into a sullen silence, with one last glare at siblings before closing their eyes for the blessing on the food, the ugliness of the hypocrisy was not lost on me.

How could we pray and ask God to bless our meal, our time together, when we were holding so much anger, hurt, and offense?

Unwilling and unable to pretend to God or my kids that everything was fine and carry on as usual, I declared:

 “OK. We all need to apologize to God, and to each other for all the things we’ve done and said today. 

We’ll each go around and pray, asking God to forgive us, and then we’ll ask the people we’ve wronged to forgive us.

I’ll go first.”

And I prayed out loud, telling God I was sorry for my impatience, my anger, my harsh words and my quickness to react when I needed to be calm. I asked Him to forgive me.  

I then turned to the children I had been sharp and angry with, and asked them to forgive me as well.

Startled at the departure from our usual method of praying before a meal, my kids hesitatingly opened their eyes, looked into mine, and each told me they forgave me.

“Thank you,” I said. “Now, it’s your turn,” and pointing at the child sitting next to me, I indicated they needed to start talking. 

And the amazing thing is… they did. 

With the exception of the three-year-old, all seven older children first quietly prayed aloud, asking God to forgive them, and then spoke to the siblings they had offended, asking forgiveness for specific things they had said and done. Several of them apologized to me for various moments of “selective deafness” or snarky back talk. 

All of them knew how they had wronged each other. All of them knew when it was they had done or said something hurtful. 

Granted, we did have a few bumpy moments… One kid was suddenly struck with severe amnesia about the entire day, especially pertaining to their own behavior (too bad there were too many witnesses.) Eventually the memory was fully restored in an apparent miracle, with an acceptable apology stated at last.

There was also the child who, whenever someone else paused in their apology, would helpfully pipe up with a reminder of another item they should be sorry for as well.

But in spite of these little snags, by the time we had circled around to the last child, the tension and anger in the room had totally gone. Some kids had wept while apologizing, and the sincerely uttered “I’m sorry for…” statements had been accepted without hesitation by all the others. Often, when seeing the contrition in the one apologizing, the offended siblings would spontaneously jump up to rush around the table to give a comforting hug.

When I finally prayed to ask the blessing on the food, there was true peace and a softness in everyone’s face where there had been anger and hardness before. Genuine smiles and kindness lingered, even as we cleared the table and got ready for bed later. 

It was an entirely changed atmosphere.

It scared me to think of how the evening might have turned out if I hadn’t said those three words: “I’ll go first.” 

Sometimes, to bring back the softness, the repentance, the kindness, and the love – to repair relationships that have cracked or broken – it takes gritty humility to make that hard initial move and acknowledge our own wrongdoing FIRST. 

Our kids and spouses and the people closest to us aren’t shocked by our imperfection. They relax in reassurance when we courageously apologize and admit our errors and wrongdoing, since it means that they, too, aren’t expected to be perfect.  

They find comfort knowing there is humility and grace waiting to meet them when they share their own lackings and failings.

It takes a lot of strength and courage to lead in reconciliation and repentance. But the rewards are sweet and entirely worthwhile.

“I’ll go first.”

Will you?

God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.

Matthew 5:9 (NLT)

If you’ve liked this post, would you please share it? Thanks!

How Your Little Kindnesses Make Big Impact in Life

Photo by JW, Unsplash.

I was often the shortest kid in my classes at school. Since my birthday was in the summer, I was usually one of the youngest as well. And since I was also insecure and shy, it just made sense that I would be a lackey to another kid who was more of a leader. 

So, at age six, attending an international school in Hong Kong, I was a weak-willed follower of a charismatic, taller, lovely bully (I’ll call her Lana) who domineered my recess times and dictated my interactions with the other kids for many months. 

(We finally broke off our relationship when I stood up to her one day and she then punched me ferociously in the stomach, but that’s another story.)

During the course of my friendship with Lana, for no discernable reason that I can fathom, a boy in one of the older classes (4 grades above mine) took an interest in Lana and me. During recess he would often stroll over (looking very tall to my eyes) to where we were, to say hello and chat with us (specifically me) in a friendly way. 

His name was Ben, and his kind face and friendly questions were deeply surprising to me, since I had not imagined that I was worth the notice or time of anyone in any of the older classes. 

After the first startling encounter and initial suspicious thoughts (Why is this older boy talking to me? Is he trying to make fun of me in some way?), I began to relax, feeling that he was safe, that I could trust his kindness. 

Lana kept a tight control on our interactions, however, and I don’t recall any conversation with him that she didn’t attempt to control.

Once, near the Christmas holidays, two cards were delivered to our class by someone from the upper grades – one for Lana, and one for me. I had no idea who would have sent me a card, and was thrilled and delighted when I opened it and saw it was from Ben, wishing me a happy Christmas. 

When Ben found us on the playground later that week, and asked if we had received his cards, I looked up and said, “Yes!” I don’t remember if I said thank you, but I wanted to. 

Lana, however, jabbed me in my side, narrowed her eyes at me, and quickly lied, “No, we haven’t!” and I looked at her, startled, but was afraid to contradict her and risk her anger. So I weakly parroted, “No, we haven’t…”

Ben, looking displeased and disappointed, said directly to me, “You don’t have to do everything she says, you know,” and then walked away. I was embarrassed and sorry. I don’t think he ever spoke to me after that. 

That term was his last at our school, and I never saw him again. But I have always remembered him. 

Ben’s seemingly small, insignificant kindnesses to me were not small or insignificant.

Having a stranger demonstrate that I had value and merited time and kindness – through no effort of my own – was deeply impactful in a season where I felt unseen and of little worth. 

He had no way of knowing that at that time in my life, my parents were going through significant marital trouble, and my home life was unsettled and tense. Lana’s friendship was conditional and I was constantly afraid of displeasing her. I had no other close friends.  

Whether or not Ben knew it, I believe God used him to show me His love in that time. And I will always remember it with sincere gratitude.

We often carry hidden hurt places and unseen heavy burdens. It is not always the big things that bring solace, but the little kindnesses that can give the strength to take another step, another breath, to get through the hard of each day.

It’s important that you and I remember to not trivialize the potential impact of the little things we do.

The smiles we give, the kind words we say, the small graces and little gifts of attention and love – these can be immensely powerful and deeply life-giving to the hearts and lives we touch – whether our own family or perfect strangers. 

We may never truly know or understand the repercussions of our actions, but the Father of us all sees and knows – and He may be placing us exactly where we are to be His gentle hands, His whispered kindness, His smiling eyes to the broken and aching people around us. 

(Ben, thank you. I felt God’s love in your kindness. I’m sorry it’s taken over thirty years to tell you. I pray for you to this day.)

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’” (Matthew 25:40, NLT)

Did you enjoy this post? Please share it, and thanks for reading!

Sign up (if you haven’t already) and get these articles delivered straight to your inbox!

Broken & Beautiful: How to Hold Hope in the Imperfection

Photo by Tung Huang on Unsplash

I felt quiet and sad. I was nine, and my only close friend was moving far away. Because I moved so much as a child, it was hard to make close friends. And by “moved” I mean different hemisphere moves, not different states or cities. 

It didn’t help that I was shy, awkward, and mostly lonely. So I was almost pathetically grateful anytime another kid was friendly to me and showed kindness. 

This friend had been especially sweet, and I wanted to give her a goodbye present to show her how much I cared about her – one that she could keep to remember me by. 

Asking my dad to purchase a gift was out of the question: money was always tight and he would inevitably say the same thing he always did: “Make something yourself!”

I found the idea in a book of creating a little bird in a nest, using a blown egg and a little piece of egg carton. I painstakingly went through each step by myself, poking a tiny hole in the top and bottom of the egg and blowing it out of the shell, then letting it dry. I painted the eggshell a lovely aqua blue, glued on a little paper beak and two soft black paper eyes, and made a little “nest” with a painted brown cup of an egg carton, carefully gluing the egg-chick in place.

I was utterly delighted with my special gift, and very proud of my handiwork – especially since I had done it all by myself. I excitedly envisioned my friend’s joy on receiving her present.

The last day I would see my friend was on Sunday at church. That morning my dad, siblings and I all rushed out to the car to drive to church, running a few minutes late. I had grabbed the little chick and the card I had made, and placed them carefully inside the car next to my seat. Then, as I got in, I unthinkingly put my hand down to fasten the seat belt – and smashed the chick.

I was too stunned to cry, and too grief stricken to speak.

There was no point in crying. There was nothing to say.

We were already late for church, my friend was moving away the very next day, and there was no time to create anything new for her. All my hard work and loving effort was gone, and I had nothing tangible to show for it except crushed fragments of a lovely aqua blue. And it was my fault.

I have felt like that little nine year old often throughout my life. (Have you?)

I have an idea or a hope of how something I do will turn out, especially since as a believer I know that what I carry out each day is supposed to be to the glory of God. 

But then, often inadvertently, I feel like I clumsily end up ruining it somehow. The gift that I had wanted to give to God of my day or my effort ends up so much less than I had hoped: a broken, shattered version of what I had envisioned. Things sometimes just end up sort of smashed and irreversibly damaged. 

This is where it takes sheer stubbornness to hold on to what I know is true: God sees my heart, and He knows my intentions and yearnings.  Even in the brokenness, He sees the love that I hold in my heart for Him when I offer what I have as a worship to Him. And therefore what I do has value and meaning to Him when I work out of a desire to honor Him with it.

What you do, how you faithfully keep going with your work and how you live your days – it matters. 

When we deliberately choose to see our lives as something we offer up to God, even in its broken imperfection, He takes our love-gift and gauges it with a metric of grace.

As one of my favorite song lyrics say,

“So take my broken offering and make it whole/ And set my feet upon the road that leads me home/ Let me walk as one fixed upon the goal / Even though I’ve got a thousand miles to go.”

(Caedmon’s Call, “Thousand Miles”, Back Home, Essential Records. 2003)

Even in those moments when all we think we hold is a crushed little egg-chick, He sees the time, care, intent, and the love that we truly offer.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

Galatians 6:9, NLT

– Maria

If you enjoyed this post, would you please share it? Thanks!


If you haven’t already, sign up to receive these articles dropped straight into your inbox – and get an encouraging note from Maria each week!