Because Resurrection Sunday is so important to our family, I have planned a joyous feast for my littles – special foods that take extra time and care. I purposefully use special decorations and prepare for traditions we only do this day each year.
The “Garden Tomb” (complete with russet potato tomb hollowed out with a spoon) is ready for the bright floral transformation tomorrow. Toothpick soldiers stand guard now, ready to flee or fall down by morning. The bread dough is rising, the eggs have been peeled, the créme Anglaise for the trifle is chilling. We will hide little treats and gifts (each with a color-coded piece of yarn) for a joyful hunt my children declare is their most favorite tradition of all –
And yet.
If these things do not point to the Truth – this celebration is a mere shadow of the Celebration of all celebrations we will join, this feast is to remind us of the Feast of all feasts with our risen and conquering King in the world to come – then it holds as much substance as a marshmallow chick.
In the feasting and rejoicing, the delighting of delicious food and new life and remembering our risen Lord, it is good to not just look back, but to look forward.
We celebrate to remember that we are going home someday to an incredible Celebration that will never end.
We feast to remember we will feast at our King’s table – with all the host of faithful witnesses who have gone before us and also those who now wait for him with us.
We joyously sing with our fellow sojourners in Sunday services to remember we will one day roar his praise in our native tongue in our true Homeland.
And we let our children to seek for that which is sweet and precious to try to show that our Lord was once hidden but can be found for those who search for him – and that he is most precious of all, and sweetest of all delightful things.
It is through these traditions and celebrations and joyful feastings we create a space for a deep homesickness to rise up in our heart and the hearts of those with us. (1 Peter 2:9-12)
Jesus rose from death so that we can live without fear or shame, now covered by his righteousness like royal robes, ambassadors for his Kingdom and crowned heirs of his glory. (2 Cor. 5:20)
We celebrate our King’s resurrection to remind ourselves that this day is unlike any other, and is the one thing that gives purpose and meaning to our lives. (1 Cor. 15:12-19)
Let us celebrate so fiercely, so joyously, and so weighted with the coming glory we will share, that those who are without this joy cannot help but see the fire and light in us, and ask us the reason for the hope we carry. (1 Peter 3:15)
A blessed and joyous Resurrection Sunday celebration to you and your loves.
HE IS RISEN INDEED!
Wear your crown, carry your sword. -Maria Miller
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The guys were taking a night to try to find normal again.
A crazy rollercoaster of experiences and emotions in the last couple weeks had shattered their world – and now they still felt unsure of which way was up. More importantly, they were unsure of what they should do next.
So they went fishing – something they knew well, something routine and ordinary.
But things still seemed askew and off – because no matter their efforts and expertise, after working all night there were only dripping empty nets, growling stomachs, and bleary, red-rimmed eyes in the grey, early morning light.
Then, a stranger walking in the early morning mist on the nearby shore called out in a friendly, fatherly way, “Hey guys, catch anything?”
Ruefully they called back, “Nope, nothing – not even after being out all night!”
Probably with a smile in his voice, the stranger called back, “Try the right side of the boat.”
Maybe they rolled their eyes at this advice, maybe they were too tired and hopeless to argue. Maybe they figured it was just so inane it was worth a shot, so they did as he said…
And immediately their net almost slipped from their hands with the weight of the heavy catch of fish that filled it to nearly bursting.
Then – after recognizing the stranger as Jesus, their newly-risen Savior and Teacher – the suddenly rejoicing, energized men were welcomed from the coldness of the morning sea to a brightly flickering fire on the beach.
Then Jesus himself, the Lord of life and Creator of the Universe, served them a hot breakfast of grilled fish and bread. (John 21:1-13)
He who should have been served instead tenderly served the same men who had recently abandoned him, denied him, and hid from being recognized as his followers. He who could have sharply reproached instead showed heart-breaking kindness.
This gracious, humble, and loving Savior is the one who cares for you and me in all our weakness and brokenness and strugglings today. When we work wearily without success, when we feel hopeless and uncertain and discouraged – He is the one who asks us to tell the truth of our lack (“Nope, we got nothing!”), and then to try again – with him.
Any outcome of our efforts is his gift. “For without me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
And then he welcomes us to sit with him and be warmed and fed – and he himself serves us.
This is our Lord – and in his kindness he is lovely beyond words.
I pray that you are comforted and fed today in the rich satisfaction of knowing the kindness of our King – and find in his kindness the hope to go on.
-Wear your crown. Carry your sword.
Maria
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If you, like me, claim Jesus to be your Savior and King, the Story of the Glorious Kingdom (click on it to read if you missed it!) is not just a fairy tale.
It’s OUR story.
WE have been set free from the dark kingdom and are now commissioned as Ambassadors of the Glorious Kingdom. This is OUR King’s book, written in the language of the Kingdom, carrying His instructions and teaching us all we need to carry out our calling as His representatives.
The definition of “Ambassador” is: a person of high-rank appointed by their ruler to represent them and their country for a special and temporary assignment in a foreign country. (I checked Wikipedia)
This is the perfect description for who we are called to be as followers of Christ:
Adopted into his family as sons and daughters of the Most High God (Ephesians 1:4-5) – we’re nobility personified! We are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, Peter says (1 Peter 2:9) – those called to mediate between God and the people who don’t yet know him as King.
We’ve been appointed to represent our ruler and his kingdom: 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 says God has given us this task of reconciling people to him, emphatically stating: “We are Christ’s ambassadors.”
It’s a unique assignment to each of us, because we each are unique creations, specially placed in the circumstances, locations, and in the communities we are because we each have a unique work to do: 1 Corinthians 12:12-26 compares us as a group of believers as a body with many varied parts, all working to accomplish a unified goal. Ephesians 2:10 declares we each have been created in Christ Jesus to do the good works that God himself prepared before time for us each to do!
It’s a temporary assignment because we each don’t know how long we have or when we will be either placed somewhere else, or called back to our homeland. Our lives are not our own, and tomorrow is not promised. Therefore we work each day we’ve been given as best we can, knowing we might be called home tomorrow! Psalm 90:12 prays that we might know the brevity of our lives and live wisely because of it.
We’re to consider ourselves as foreigners and outsiders because this world is not our home and we are not to hold onto it too tightly – we are citizens of heaven, and are called to live in a manner worthy of our King and his Kingdom (Philippians 1:27). 1 Peter 2:11 exhorts, “Dear friends, I warn you as temporary residents and foreigners to keep away from the worldly desires that wage war against your souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors… [so that] they will give honor to God when he judges the world.”
And the question likely burning in your mind now is… “HOW? How do we do this?” (Stay tuned…)
Wear your crown. Carry your sword. – Maria
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In a challenging situation or a season of suffering or hardship, all we care about is obtaining relief – and we think that if the challenge were to be removed, suddenly everything would be great. We would be so happy!
But is that true?
Exodus 17:1-7, written by Moses, tells about a time when the people of Israel camp in the wilderness at a location called Rephidim. “At the Lord’s command,” the text declares emphatically.
So what’s the problem?
There was no water at Rephidim.
For a large community of people, children, and animals, that’s a big problem.
Please note that these are the exact same people who saw the terrors of the ten plagues in Egypt and then the parting of the Red Sea only a few weeks prior. These folks saw the hand of God move mightily on their behalf, and have been following the moving pillars of cloud and fire – physical manifestations of God’s guidance – through the wilderness.
So with this new challenge, what do they do? They quickly turn in angry complaints to Moses, demanding for him to give them water.
Moses warns them to be quiet – clearly wanting them to respectfully ask and patiently wait to see the provision of God (as he had done so powerfully before), and reminds them not to test God.
But when they continue to feel the torment of strong thirst – they not only continue to argue but they attribute Moses (and therefore God, who is directing him) with harmful, hateful intent, saying “Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Are you trying to kill us, our children and our livestock with thirst?” (Exodus 17: 3)
Their discomfort and suffering completely overwhelmed them – all they could focus on was their current misery and how it would vanish with what they craved – water.
The beleaguered Moses cries out to God asking what to do – and God tells him. “Walk out in front of the people. They accused me publicly, they will be answered publicly. Take the same staff that struck the Nile and turned water to blood – and bring some of the elders to join you. I will stand before you on the rock at Mount Sinai. Strike the rock, and the water will come gushing out – and then the people will be able to drink.” (Exodus 17: 5-6, my paraphrase)
Did you see that?
God himself would stand on the rock that would gush out water.
Why?
Because what the people needed more than water was the Presence of God.
In our own ongoing struggles, the challenges and sufferings of life in a sin-darkened world, it is so very easy to be forgetful of what we know to be true.
God is always and has always been faithful, AND it is by his direct guidance that we are exactly where we are in this place of lack or suffering or hardship.
Therefore it means we are to stop blaming other people, stop accusing God of harmful intent or careless indifference, and smash our idols of perceived comfort and relief.
Because what we need most, no matter how much we crave other things, is not relief from the suffering – it is HIMSELF.
David wrote Psalm 63 during his own time in the wilderness – I encourage you to pull out a Bible and pray this Psalm for yourself, asking the Spirit to make it genuinely true for your heart:
“Oh God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water… Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you!” (Psalm 63:1,3)
May we be a people who can sing this up to him in truth – even in a wilderness of no water and with suffering – that we find our God and his love better than life itself.
Wear your crown, carry your sword. – Maria
*(This post was inspired by John Piper’s excellent sermon “Water from the Rock for Undeserving People” from August 11, 2022, found here.)
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Let’s talk about parenting. Because parents can be enormously damaging. Or enormously life-giving (but those can be more rare – just stating the facts, ma’am).
I think that the general purpose of parents has been greatly lost in recent years, so here’s my take on 2 secrets about parenting that will bring clarity to your overall perspective and hopefully remind you of the truth while giving you some hope!
On the parent’s part:
Parenting is about being parented. That’s it.
It’s not actually supposed to be about the child/ren much at all, especially as an end. It’s really about coming to terms with one’s own relationship with the Ultimate Father – God – and being found in a situation where one is constantly forced to face their own inadequacies, sinful selfishness, and humiliating lack of understanding and control. (Ask me how I know this.)
It’s about coming to a point of reliance on the great and merciful supply of daily wisdom and strength that God alone can give. It’s about surrendering pride and appearances and being willing to endure pain and possible rejection for another’s highest good.
On the child’s part:
Parenting is really about being stewarded, discipled, and trained toward an understanding and belief in this same Ultimate Father as their true parent – because any sort of replacement of the human parent for reliance on their Father God is going to be a letdown.
Human parents are going to disappoint their children, fail them, and hurt them – probably often, hopefully mostly unintentionally.
(If you are feeling reactive to that last statement, check your pride – those of us who are being honest with ourselves are nodding in rueful agreement.)
In spite of their inherent imperfection, the parent’s true role is to provide loving care and physical, mental, and emotional nourishment in such a way that the child has no impediment to seeing their heavenly Father’s love and care reflected by the parent.
By doing so, parents are creating the opportunity for children to begin their own relationship with him, with the hope that they love Him far more than they love their parents.
This is the ultimate goal of parenting.
(And yes, teaching them to say please, brush their teeth, and wear deodorant is also helpful – but not the ultimate goal.)
Why we fail is because we keep forgetting who we are and our true role: stewards, managers, and tutors serving an all-powerful and all-knowing King. We are in charge of raising HIS children with their eternal souls to become valuable, purposeful and reverent royal citizens in the King’s eternal Kingdom – not ours. And each person who parents another will be held accountable for our stewardship to the Father-King.
We were created to find our deepest joy and richest purpose in our Ultimate Father, not in flawed human parents.
And that’s why so many well-intentioned, loving parents get it wrong.
Because it’s not about us or our children – it’s about our King. If that clarity of focus is lost – no matter how loving or “religious” or protecting – that parent has become an impediment to the child’s greatest good.
The overwhelming love and protection we feel for our children is only a microbial drop compared to the deep sea of love our Father has for us – allowing us to get a glimpse of his heart and love, enabling us to persevere in our work of parenting while rejoicing and comforted in our own relationship with him.
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children...
- Deuteronomy 6:6-7a
Wear Your Crown, Carry Your Sword. – Maria Miller
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The life of a person who is avidly and truly a believer of God and follower of Jesus Christ is not marked by whether they are living perfectly and free from sin, but whether or not that person is fiercely and faithfully fighting against sin.
If marks of that battle are not evident, if there is no war declared, no clear sign of any ongoing fight underway – then that person is not someone who is following Jesus. Period.
When Jesus said in Matthew 5:28-29 that we should be gouging out eyes and whacking off hands and other extremities in our ferocious willingness to cut out (and off!) sin in our lives, we could expect to see the people who claim be Christians largely as a group of amputees, violently handicapped in multiple ways… unless, as John Piper states, Jesus must have had something “even more radical in mind than literal mutilation”. (Future Grace, Multnomah Publishers, 1995. “Faith in Future Grace vs. Lust”, pg. 330)
(Whew! Everyone, it’s safe to come out now. Your hands and eyes can stay put.)
In Piper’s excellent book Future Grace, he explains that while we generally consider global issues and injustice and similar ‘big’ social problems as far more important than ‘minor’ sins like pornography or complaining or lying, Jesus sees things differently than we often do.
The ‘big’ problems are important, but it’s because they all relate to individual people. People, who are made in the image of God with eternal souls, have only two possible endings: forever in the New Heavens and Earth in the presence of God glorifying him, or forever in hell defying him. This is why people – with their eternal ability to honor God regardless of their actual earthly lifespan – are so important.
All the ‘big’ problems can kill the body. But the consequences of sins (like lust) that stalk and easily entangle can eternally condemn our souls – more terrifying than any earthly death.
This is a comfort to me. I am not expected to be perfect, nor am I chided by my Holy Father for stumbling when I do. But I am to consistently grip my sword and fight and to resist my sin with each new day that I am given here on Earth.
That resistance is what marks me as a faithful warrior who claims Christ as King.
“If you live by [your sinful nature’s] dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live.” – Romans 8:13
Which brings me to the sword.
Ephesians 6:17 calls us to take up the sword of the Spirit – the Word of God.
If we are not faithfully, consistently and prayerfully opening the Bible and reading it with humility and teachable hearts, we are weaponless in the battle.
The Word of God is there to bring light and truth to our thinking so we see clearly. “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17) The truth of God’s Word helps us recognize the inherent deception of sin to satisfy and bring happiness. It helps us recognize the fully satisfying, delightfulness of God and brings the faith to trust in his promises. “You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence.” (Psalm 16:11)
The role of God’s Word, Piper states, is to feed faith’s appetite for God. As we learn to delight in the rich sweetness of him, we begin to lose our taste for the poison-sugar of anything less.
It gives us the honed ferocity in our battle that we need – the daily reminders that give us the strength to endure the (often wearying) fight and to grow in our knowledge and love of God.
“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that endable to you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” – 1 Peter 1:3-4
“Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
Galatians 6:8-9
Makes me want to go grab my Bible right now and get feasting – and fighting. Come on, fellow warrior!
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Wear your crown. Carry your sword. – Maria E. Miller
This may come as a shock to you, but I’m not a perfect mother.
I’m not even terribly patient – which seems counterintuitive for a homemaker with a slew of eight littles.
Wait for it: My children are also imperfect, as incredible as that may seem.
And sometimes after a “situation” erupts, the child who has done wrong and is clearly at fault often becomes hard.
It’s like a grim, defiant varnish falls over their face, mind, and heart, and they stand there, refusing to apologize or make things right. They are clearly miserable, but unwilling and apparently unable to make the move to the safer, higher ground of repentance and reconciliation.
Often the initial problem is actually overshadowed by their belligerent attitude while being corrected – to the point where they experience the interesting phenomenon of a receiving a consequence for their ongoing attitude rather than the initial wrongdoing.
It’s difficult for me to fight a natural justice-driven instinct: I want to remain hard and cold to the one at fault, as if I think any softness on my part will seem like an encouragement or a reward for the bad behavior or choices.
The worrier in me anxiously frets that the child will have some kind of permanently flawed character if I don’t react with appropriate, cool sternness. I fear that if I don’t address their error in an appropriately punitive way, they will become a shallow, entitled, willful adult who mocks at upright living. And I will be seen as a weak, capitulating parent unworthy of respect or attention, world without end, amen.
Yet most of the time, any hardness, harshness or strict reproach from me, even if totally justified, usually tends to bring outonly more hardness in my child.
In fact, it often escalates the situation, igniting more conflict rather than bringing any sort of resolution, much less the kind of heart-change I hope for.
One time I found myself again confronting a defiant, unrepentant and stone-faced child – but this time, by God’s grace, the usual Molotov cocktail of anger, bewilderment and fear in my own heart wasn’t there. Instead I felt an unexpected peacefulness, and a loving tenderness toward my child which startled me.
Looking down into the little stony face, I reached out and enveloped my child in a warm hug, gently rocking back and forth, stroking their hair. And the stiff little body suddenly melted into softness with relief. Arms were thrown around my neck and a little voice choked out very sincere apology while tears streamed down.
My undeserved gentleness and kindness brought on a sudden softening – a genuine repentance that I could never have forced or manipulated.
Can you relate to the child described above? I sure can.
When I’m angry, hurt, embarrassed, sorry but too ashamed and proud to admit it, sometimes I am my own worst enemy in being able to find the peace and comfort I long for and the reconciliation that brings it about. But an unexpected kindness brings swift softness and acknowledgement of my wrong.
What we really need in those moments after we screw up (and realize it) is grace: Someone to extend undeserved kindness and mercy and provide a place of safety in our brokenness, because we yearn for acceptance and reconnection in our repentance, and mourn because… We know we don’t deserve it.
In our hardness, defiance, rebellion, anger, pride, and shame, our God reaches out to us with loving arms, showing us stunning mercy and kindness. Especially when we have done nothing to deserve it.
Being responded to like that melts the hardness, coldness, and shameful fear away. And we find the courage and safety to know we will be held and loved and forgiven without harshness or shaming (even though we might still face the consequences of our actions).
The Apostle Paul says it this way: “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?”
Romans 2:4, NLT
The times I have experienced the most kindness and grace when I have done wrong often are the times I react with the greatest contrition and true repentance.
I have seen the same happen in my kids again and again.
Let’s ask God for the courage and ability to gift His loving kindness to our children and those around us, to show His glorious grace and stunning tenderness even when it seems undeserved and counter-intuitive.
And we’ll know that it’s a way to most closely resemble God Himself, and to represent His love to a broken world desperately in need of reconciliation with Him.
We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:20-21, NLT
– Maria
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If only they would always sit this still… I love cuddles!
Shoulders hunched, discouragement and defeat on his face, teary eyes lifted sadly, my little son told me he wanted to quit.
It was just too hard for him, and he couldn’t do it, he said. His math book was just too difficult and he needed to go back a grade level.
Then he cried.
I looked at him, too astonished to speak for a moment. This is a child who is precocious, intelligent, and studies eagerly. He had achieved the level he was in by his own efforts, not because of my expectations or any pushing.
For him to suddenly collapse with defeat was startling, especially when he had been doing really well!
What had happened?
Then I discovered that he had been flipping through his book to the sections near the end, when his current lessons are still in the first third of the book. When he had seen problems and difficult questions he was unable to answer or even understand yet, he had collapsed in overwhelm, discouragement, and defeat. He told himself he just wasn’t able to do it – he wasn’t smart enough. And then he believed it.
But he was nowhere near ready to take those problems on yet – he had a lot of lessons in between where he was now and what he would need to know by then!
And then it hit me:
How many times am I like that? How about you?
I can look ahead and see in the future the outline of a difficult problem or situation, and I freeze in fear. I have no idea of how to solve that problem! I don’t even know the first thing to do to cope with it!
And depression, discouragement, insecurity, and overwhelm set in. I listen to the story that I will never be able to overcome the challenge, or that when it comes I will drown in writhing defeat.
What if looking that far ahead in my current perspective was actually a major detriment to my progress?
Like my son, I am self-sabotaging my own success by comparing my abilities NOW with what I will need THEN – without factoring in my own significant change in the process.
He who began a good work in me is FAITHFUL to complete it (Phil 1:6). He will unceasingly work in my heart and life (so far as I allow Him to have the authority), and He will not allow me to skip any lesson that He knows I will need for success later on!
My task for RIGHT NOW is just the next lesson. That’s it.
What is God teaching me in THIS moment, THIS day, THIS season?
That alone is all I need to work on for now.
He is the most patient and best of Teachers, the most thorough and kind of all Guides and Counselors. His loving wisdom to know exactly what I need when and in what timing is something I can absolutely trust in.
And so can you.
I encourage you to look ahead – it’s what gives us inspiration and excitement! And carefully plan and excitedly dream and hopefully purpose.
But bring your wise and loving Teacher along with you in these moments. When you’re tempted to flip ahead too far and what you see overwhelms and scares you rather than inspires you, shut that flipping book.
Grab your Father’s comforting hand, climb up and listen to His heart, and trustingly ask Him what it is He wants you to learn NOW.
Ask for the faith to believe He will teach you in the way you learn best.
And ask for the teachable, soft heart to learn it well!
Then ask the same thing each day, for the rest of your life.
And I think by the time we each get to the thing that looked so scary, we will have an entire assortment of experiences and lessons and understanding that will give us a more solid foundation for facing the challenge well.
And so we can hold onto hope!
Our God is filled with tender love, kindness and patience. A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out (Matthew 12:20).
And I am certain that the next lesson He gives us is one that is one that He knows we are ready for. We can wholeheartedly look in His face and smile, trusting Him to walk us through it well.
I hope you are well, my lovely friend. I will be praying that whatever lesson you and I face in this time finds us both with soft and teachable hearts, open hands, and trusting and uplifted outlooks.
Take a moment right now to tell God you trust Him. Ask for that teachable, soft heart. And thank Him for being such a patient and wise Teacher to help you learn what you need for today.
I’m so excited for us! Best school day ever.
– Maria
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“Wow! Busy mama!” folks exclaim as we come into sight, before they even stop counting heads.
“How do you do it?”
I hear that question relatively often, from other moms or people who see my large family, with eight kids ranging in age from eleven to two, and think that it equates an unimaginable amount of work and stress only overcome by superhuman abilities.
While it would be fun to reveal I have some kind of super power or divulge a magical secret formula for how to manage life with many young children, the honest truth is I don’t.
I’m truly not even that patient. (Shocker, I know.)
Every day usually brings at least one moment (or many) where I tell God in exasperation that I just can’t do it, I don’t want to do it, and I have no idea how to keep going.
Then I keep going.
Beyond any sort of efficiency tips, parenting ideologies, logistics or systems I implement, deeper than the homeschool curriculums and methods I employ, deeper even than the energetic, strong personality I’ve been blessed with, these are the two main factors that form the foundation of how I do my life:
1. I turn to God.
2. I don’t quit.
While I am humbly honored by anyone wanting my thoughts on the actual practical ways I operate my home and manage the humans in it, I have to start with the baseline of these two practices. And the best part is, if I can do this, I absolutely believe anyone can do them as well!
I am fully human, very flawed, prone to frustration, exhaustion, insecurity, and a frantic need to control. The great news is I don’t have to rely on this part of me, because as a follower of Christ, my Bible tells me that I am loved by God, chosen, holy, and free from sin. I have been showered with kindness, wisdom, and understanding. I have been made a new creation, a masterpiece of God, made to do the good things He planned for me long ago. And I am brought near to God through the sacrifice of Christ. (Ephesians 1:4,7-8; 2:10, 13)
I am not a superhuman. But I trust and know a superbly supreme Super-Being who fills me each day with the ability to live in a way that is not based in my human nature (when I allow Him to).
I can only make it so far on my own strength and ability to control my temper and adjust my attitude. I am unable to be endlessly patient with whining and bickering. I lack the endurance to patiently teach and re-teach a stonewalling, snarky child how to find the greatest common factor, or the right way to fold clean laundry, or to speak respectfully to a younger sibling. I am quickly bewildered by how to get an obstinate toddler to stop spitting on the carpet, or help a frustrated child cope with ongoing eczema outbreaks.
Multiply all that by eight, add a cluttered, dusty house and three daily meals to prepare, and on my own steam I don’t have a chance.
So.
1. I turn to God.
My relationship with God is the dearest thing I possess. Thus I make it a priority to haul my often-tired self out of bed each morning and spend time reading His Word, talking to Him and (here’s the hard part) staying quiet enough to listen to Him. But He meets with me in those quiet morning moments, and His presence brings a solace, joy, and strength to my soul that nothing else gives.
I would be a fool to skip out on this essential, life-giving interaction, because this is the secret fuel that gives me the power to make it through each day.
I don’t stop eating physical food or drinking water during the day, or I would crash in exhausted lack of energy. In the same way, my time in the Bible and in prayer and meditation is the food that feeds my heart and gets my mindset on track for each situation I may encounter.
Whether it’s ten precious minutes or a delightful hour or more, time with my Father fills me up to carry on my current work of being a mama, wifey, and Household Executive of a family of ten needy, wonderful, imperfect people.
Even just deliberately choosing to turn my thoughts toward Him throughout my day, whispering a prayer in my heart, and deciding to be thankful for something in the midst of the noisy mess has a way of refilling the joy and peace that only He can give.
2. I don’t quit.
My second “secret” is just to keep going. My God is faithful. I want to be like Him. He doesn’t quit on me – ever. So I know He’ll give me the ability and strength for each new day to put one foot in front of the other on this journey of mothering and homemaking.
And He’ll hold my heart and give me peace when I want to scream, smash a glass dish or two, burn the dinner, and fly away to an isolated Caribbean island for six months. I know because He has done it – and His peace is priceless and incomprehensible.
So basically, my second foundational aspect of how I do my life – not quitting – is also centered in God.
There you have it, the big secret of “how I do it”: God. He’s the “how”. He’s really the only “how” ever. Other things can be helpful, but for me He is the essential.
The Bible states that those who have Him have everything they need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). And God always keeps His promises. Especially to busy, easily overwhelmed mamas like me.
But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
-Job 23:10, NIV
My Dear Lovebugs:
A couple months ago I had a really hard morning. Toddlers coloring with markers on their clothes and body (then wailing loudly because they demanded a bath to wash the brilliant blue off their skin), dirty diapers and kids with hacking coughs, siblings bickering, speaking nastily, and fighting over the best way to cut Valentine’s hearts (seriously!), and a kitchen full of dirty dishes, half-prepared lasagna pans, leftover breakfast mess, and a stove top splattered with tomato sauce. Then I found out that afternoon that a few of you had been sneaking and broke family rules while I was out running errands the day before, playing a video game by yourselves that was reserved for playing with Daddy only. In a word, discouraging. Not so much that you did it, but that only one of you was tender-hearted and conscience-stricken enough to confess to me that day, although all of you wept and apologized most sincerely after it was discovered.
But here’s the thing, chickies. It comes as no surprise to me that this world (and everyone in it, including you, my dearest punks) is tainted with sin. Life here on Earth is often a mess. People do the wrong thing and make hurtful choices, even when they don’t actually want to sometimes (Romans 7:14-25), because they aren’t perfect. (Shocker, I know.) The only perfect Being is our Father God, something you’ve heard so many times that you’re in danger of tuning out when you hear it again. But pay attention, because this is important: He is in the process of perfecting us, too, so you mustn’t lose hope or trust in Him, even when you let yourself down horribly. In fact, in Philippians we are assured that we can be confident in this very thing, that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to continue His work until the day Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6). He is the faithful, true God of the Bible and He is the faithful, true God of you today.
God’s fulfillment of His covenant promise to Abraham about bringing the children of Israel out of slavery in Egypt and to their home in the Promised Land was not just to set them free from oppression and give them the freedom to thrive and prosper in their outer, physical lives. He intentionally promised Abraham specifically regarding their inner, spiritual lives as well, mentioned in Zechariah’s prayer-prophecy-song: “He has been merciful to our ancestors by remembering his sacred covenant – the covenant he swore with an oath to our ancestor Abraham. We have been rescued from our enemies so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness for as long as we live.” (Luke 1: 72-75, NLT, emphasis mine) We are promised holiness and righteousness in this life! We have been cleansed from our sin and guilt, created new in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for each of us (Ephesians 2:10). He created us in Christ Jesus to do good works – so that is now our purpose! What an encouragement to think about, especially when we stumble and blunder and disappoint others and ourselves.
It’s as if we were filthy, bedraggled, lice-and-disease-ridden, abused and cowering slaves of a cruel overlord. Not only could we not escape on our own, even if we did, we would have no idea of how to behave or survive without returning to the same broken mentality, because we knew nothing else and had no medicine for our diseases. By putting your faith in Jesus Christ, He paid the purchase price in full, hacked off the chains and ropes that bound you, and then took you to a healing spa where you were completely washed, exfoliated, cleansed, and doctored.
But He didn’t leave you there afterward, clean and naked, shivering and purposeless. He gave you some of His own shimmering, pure white clothes, smooth on your scarred skin and cooling on your bruises. And then He handed you an incredible job opportunity! A unique assignment, designed specifically for you, because as crazy as it may seem, the Creator-Emperor of the Universe decided to fulfill his purposes on Earth by collaborating with former slaves, choosing us to fill roles of great responsibility and worth. We are now ambassadors of His Kingdom, speaking on His behalf and behaving as his representatives on Earth! (2 Corinthians 5:20)
But how are we supposed to go about this astounding assignment? With the perfect, unceasing help from our untiring and faultless Counselor and Guide, the Holy Spirit, who is there with us, available for guidance, inspiration, and communication 24/7. “But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.” (John 14:26, NLT) He is there, available to us, but we must choose to draw on and applywhatever He teaches us. He is faithful, loving, truthful and tender, and cares too deeply about us to leave us as we once were. But again, it is our choice to pursue and implement the wisdom and leading that He gives!
Choosing to ignore or deliberately disobey His voice begins to muffle and hinder our recipience of His speech to us, like freezing a river’s flow or flinging sodden branches on a small fire. Water may still be trickling beneath the river’s icy surface, but with drastically decreased power and energy. The fire may still be flickering, but smoke and vapor decrease its visibility, warmth, and light.
We must unceasingly seek His guidance with humility and persistence, listening carefully and attentively. Each of you can trust that He walks with you on the unique path designed for you and the ambassadorship calling you alone have been given. Through this delightful partnership, He will bring the most glory to Himself and the most joy and fulfillment to you.
My chickadees, do you know what alchemy is? Alchemy was an ancient branch of natural philosophy, an extra-early scientific tradition practiced in many countries. While many people today understand it to be a form of pseudo-science that solely attempted to turn base metals into gold and was essentially a deceptive practice, alchemy was actually far more broad and less fraudulent in its aims.
Alchemists were trying to purify and perfect certain materials, creating something of greater worth from more base elements. Alchemy was based on the idea that there was an elemental substance within certain things that, if refined and reduced to its most essential state, would be so exquisitely pure and perfect it would be capable of transforming certain elements into something of highest value (in that era, gold). But most importantly, they believed that an ultra-purified substance like this (also known as a philosopher’s stone) would also be able to give rejuvenation and immortality to man – an elixir of life.
Fascinating as this may be to you, why am I referencing archaic and obsolete proto-scientific philosophies? Because, my darlings, I find alchemy to be a beautiful analogy for the work that the Holy Spirit is embarked on when He comes into our lives and hearts and begins to transform us into the likeness of Christ (1 Corinthians 15:49, Romans 8:29)!
Our glorious King is like a Great Alchemist – He is taking us, creatures of earth, each uniquely formed and each of us with our own special element that He placed in us from the first, and He works in us to bring the best outcome (Philippians 2:13). We are carefully, lovingly, painstakingly and unceasingly purified and cleansed. We are heated, cooled, and processed how He knows will refine us best and bring out that which is our most perfect and exquisite essence. Each of us reflects His beauty and glory in a different way – like a radiant jewel with flashing facets, each reflecting a different spark of light, each person in His Kingdom reflecting Him uniquely, wondrously.
As we allow this glorious work, as we surrender to this refining, uncomfortable, and often painful process, we can trust Him knowing that His expertise is irreproachable and perfect. Unlike the faulty and flawed human endeavors in alchemy, His work is fully a brilliant success. As Job declared in the midst of his suffering, “But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.” (Job 23:10, NLT) Our choice is to agree with His work and yield to His superior understanding. You can be certain He is always guided by His deep love for us, and He will be faithful to bring to perfection what He began in you when you first asked Him to be your God and King (Philippians 1:16).
Surrendering to the flame, the crushing, and the suffering in the refinement process sometimes feels as though we are losing ourselves. My lovelies, please believe me when I tell you that when we willingly give up all of ourselves to Him, what remains after the refining process is only more intrinsically ourselves – what we lose is often the external crust, the dross, and the more fleshly parts of self that were obscuring His glory reflected in us. He is not trying to make you lose yourself – He is helping you become yourself, your true self as He initially intended for you to be from when He designed you from before the Creation of the world. “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.” (Ephesians 1:4) You are most true to yourself when you are holding tightly to His Truth.
He loves and delights in each of you as the glorious, wholly unique and adorable person He made you, with your own quirks and personality, appearance, preferences, and mental processes. As you allow it, He is refining in each of you the unspeakably valuable essence you already hold – that which makes you most you is most beautiful and precious when it is in the context of His purity and purpose.
This is why each person is precious. This is why life is so valuable. Because each life, each person, is an irreplaceable, unrepeatable, uniquely beautiful opportunity to reveal another facet of God’s beauty and glory to each other. This is why those who believe in Christ should be so surrendered to the work of the Holy Spirit personally that as we interact corporately, we are overcome with the light and glory we see in each other. The intrinsic beauty of each person’s God-formed essence should create a deep delight in us, both toward each other, and then upward toward our Father. And that should only inspire us to worship. “May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 15:5-6, NLT)
How I long for the day when I will know myself as the truest, most glorious version of me, when I am free from this body of dusty flesh and this broken world. The best is yet to come. We who love God and remain faithful shall come forth, like Job, as gold, and the whole of Creation waits in eager expectation of the glorious revealing of the sons and daughters of God (Romans 8:18-21).
In the meantime, in the days I have left here in this Earth, I shall not turn from the flame, nor from the slow process and the pain. I want to become what my Great Alchemist sees that I am. As the Living Water (John 4:13), He is my Elixir of Life, and as the Cornerstone of the Kingdom (Luke 20: 17-18), He is the ultimate philosopher’s stone. His Holy Spirit gives my soul immortality, His loving hand turns my dust to gold.
My most precious children, I pray that you will fiercely pursue our God with hearts of deep love and faith, no matter what circumstances come. “These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (1 Peter 1:7, NLT).
