Friend or Foe? 2 Hidden Secrets for Your Parenting Success

Let’s talk about parenting. Because parents can be enormously damaging. Or enormously life-giving (but those can be more rare – just stating the facts, ma’am).

I think that the general purpose of parents has been greatly lost in recent years, so here’s my take on 2 secrets about parenting that will bring clarity to your overall perspective and hopefully remind you of the truth while giving you some hope!

On the parent’s part:

Parenting is about being parented. That’s it.

It’s not actually supposed to be about the child/ren much at all, especially as an end. It’s really about coming to terms with one’s own relationship with the Ultimate Father – God – and being found in a situation where one is constantly forced to face their own inadequacies, sinful selfishness, and humiliating lack of understanding and control. (Ask me how I know this.)

It’s about coming to a point of reliance on the great and merciful supply of daily wisdom and strength that God alone can give. It’s about surrendering pride and appearances and being willing to endure pain and possible rejection for another’s highest good. 

On the child’s part:

Parenting is really about being stewarded, discipled, and trained toward an understanding and belief in this same Ultimate Father as their true parent – because any sort of replacement of the human parent for reliance on their Father God is going to be a letdown. 

Human parents are going to disappoint their children, fail them, and hurt them – probably often, hopefully mostly unintentionally.

^{(If you are feeling reactive to that last statement, check your pride – those of us who are being honest with ourselves are nodding in rueful agreement.)} 

In spite of their inherent imperfection, the parent’s true role is to provide loving care and physical, mental, and emotional nourishment in such a way that the child has no impediment to seeing their heavenly Father’s love and care reflected by the parent.

By doing so, parents are creating the opportunity for children to begin their own relationship with him, with the hope that they love Him far more than they love their parents. 

This is the ultimate goal of parenting. 

(And yes, teaching them to say please, brush their teeth, and wear deodorant is also helpful – but not the ultimate goal.)

Why we fail is because we keep forgetting who we are and our true role: stewards, managers, and tutors serving an all-powerful and all-knowing King. We are in charge of raising HIS children with their eternal souls to become valuable, purposeful and reverent royal citizens in the King’s eternal Kingdom – not ours. And each person who parents another will be held accountable for our stewardship to the Father-King. 

We were created to find our deepest joy and richest purpose in our Ultimate Father, not in flawed human parents. 

And that’s why so many well-intentioned, loving parents get it wrong. 

Because it’s not about us or our children – it’s about our King. If that clarity of focus is lost – no matter how loving or “religious” or protecting – that parent has become an impediment to the child’s greatest good.

The overwhelming love and protection we feel for our children is only a microbial drop compared to the deep sea of love our Father has for us – allowing us to get a glimpse of his heart and love, enabling us to persevere in our work of parenting while rejoicing and comforted in our own relationship with him.

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children...

- Deuteronomy 6:6-7a

_{Wear Your Crown, Carry Your Sword. – Maria Miller}

Please share this article? You rock. Thanks a million!

^{And please sign up today to have these posts sent to your inbox where you can read them easily and at your leisure. (I promise to not spam you.)}