Tag: Home life

How to Impact the World Forever: Purposeful Parenting Now!

Your child is an eternal soul in a transient body.

Pardon my bluntness, but from what I understand, as a human, there is a 100% chance of death.

This may seem like a grim thought, but it really needs to be considered. Because how else will we decide how to live, how to spend the life we have been given, if we do not first understand that we only have it for a relatively brief span of time? 

How else would we recognize the immense precious worth of the moments we have been given now to impact not only our children, but through them, their children and children’s children?

A common current way of thinking is to work to establish a ‘kingdom’ in one’s own lifetime, of things, money, and a reputation that will bring a sense of success or value while one is alive. But a far more reasonable and worthwhile mentality is that, while recognizing our own mortality, we deliberately aim to produce value and lasting impact for when we are no longer here.

The best way to do this is to invest in our children’s character and relationship with their Creator-King.

As immortal souls, they truly will be one lasting thing that we will have had the privilege of helping create while on earth. Businesses may close, wealth may be spent and pass to others, reputation and significance will fade. But to impact another person’s character – to help imprint them and shift them from one aspect into something different – that is to bear the weight of co-creation, in a way. It’s working to build up a Kingdom that is going to last through eternity – God’s Kingdom.

That God has seen fit to allow such a flawed and imperfect person as myself the exquisite honor of using my time and efforts to guide my eight young children’s minds and hearts on a path that leads towards Him is something truly incredible. How I choose to steward my time with them impacts their minds, hearts, and lives. I have the opportunity to shape these eight little people like no other human will.

So how am I using this season I am assigned to this work?  How are you using the time you have?

Once we recognize our limited time given for this task, not only because we are all mortal, but because there is only a relatively short span when we have the undivided attention and respect of our children when they are young, parenting becomes (rightfully) something we should look at with seriousness and earnestness.

And probably a little something akin to a holy panic.

Because how in the world are we actually supposed to do this?!?

Exactly.

Again to be quite blunt: We’re not. Our job is to enable God to do His in the hearts and minds of our children, while allowing Him full authority over our own.

We are to be the under-gardeners. The under-shepherds. The teaching assistants, the mentors, the stewards, the butlers and housekeepers. None of it is truly ours to hold in the first place.

It all belongs to the Great Overseer of our souls, our Good Shepherd, our Teacher, Master Gardener, High King and Lord of all. We can find comfort knowing that our children are ultimately not our responsibility, but our Father’s.

He is the One who will plant the seeds – we are to help keep the soil soft and as weed-free as we can, watering and fertilizing, building fences and staying vigilant to keep marauders and pests out.

He is the One who the sheep listen to – we are to help guard the lambs and teach them to know His voice and follow Him quickly to find life-giving food, clear water, and nurturing care.

He is the Teacher – we are to help with the lessons and homework He gives, provide encouragement and pointers during hard tests, and cheer and congratulate when successful learning takes place.

And in that knowledge, we can find the galvanizing reality that we will answer to Him for how we have spent our time with the littles in our charge, whether they be our own children or anyone in need of guidance and discipleship that He has brought into our lives in the season we’re in now.

He has chosen each of us specifically for good works that He has planned out for us before time began (Ephesians 2:10). So, we can find the strength, hope, wisdom, love, and courage to walk in those works only as we daily seek direction and help from our Father.

And the main source of direction and help that He has lovingly provided for us: His Holy Word. Click to read my article on Why a Bible-Shaped Life is Vitally Important to Any Parent.

There is a saying that God has no grandchildren. Our faith is ours, and our children must grow and develop their own faith-relationship with Him. Our job, then, is to enable and encourage and guide that relationship, not to try to be a representative or surrogate for them to God. It would perhaps be more accurate to say that God wants you to represent Him to your children!

We should disciple and teach our children while holding the idea that eventually they will become mature adults and followers of Christ – and as such, will become our brothers and sisters in God’s kingdom. This means we should behave toward them with the respect, kindness, and grace we would give others outside our family, and not grow careless or lazy in how we treat or train our children, even when they are young.

“Who then is adequate for such a task as this?” (2 Corinthians 2:16). As stunning and overwhelming as it may seem, if you are a parent or a caregiver of young children, God has chosen you to carry out this awesome task. And He promises to give you everything you need for it:

“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”

(2 Corinthians 9:8, NIV)

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” (2 Corinthians 4:7, NLT, emphasis mine)

Our children don’t need us to be perfect. They already know we’re not. They just need us to keep shining out the Light through our broken places so that they can see the path toward our perfect God for themselves.

And the brighter the better.

We are not promised tomorrow. Let’s make the most of the time we have today.

Make a commitment to yourself and to God today to be the parent He has called you to be. Pray and commit yourself and your kids to Him entirely. Want extra accountability? I would love to hear your story! Send me a reply, and I will read it and pray for you. Parenting is a high and challenging calling, my friend.

You do not have to walk it alone.

With you in this!

Maria

(To connect to the companion article that shows how a Biblically-based life is foundational to raising children who walk with God, click to read Why a Bible-Shaped Life is Vitally Important to Any Parent!)

How can you get these beautiful printable parenting reminder cards? [In both English and Spanish!]
I’ll send them to you – free – in your email! Sign up below or in the toolbar on the right and I’ll get them to you ASAP!

How I’m Raising Eager Readers (Part One)

5 Things I Do to Create a Home Where Readers Thrive

My five-year-old, starting yet another chapter book.

Of my eight children aged 11 to 2 years, six are reading, most of them with great proficiency. My earliest reader was one of my sons, while he was still 3 years old. Our adopted son is also reading well within his age group, despite coming from another country with an entirely different language and no prior English experience.

The average age of children starting reading in our home is about age 4. I laugh and think by now it’s usually a matter of survival – with so many books and reading siblings around, the younger ones think it’s absolutely typical, and just figure that the earlier they get started the sooner they can join the fun!

Now I find myself frequently frustrated that someone is so lost in a book that they have neglected their chores or forgot to shower or are oblivious to my calling that dinner is on the table!

While a house full of bookworms lost in stacks of books is a commonplace scene for me, I have to admit that this is not just by chance.

Creating an environment where readers thrive is an intentional choice. As a parent, I have a direct impact on how my children view reading and books based on how I choose to incorporate them in our home.

Creating a Home Where Readers Thrive
  • We make space for books. While this may seem obvious, it is nonetheless important to note. Are there bookshelves or cupboards available for your children’s books which are easily accessible to them? Is there enough room for their libraries to grow as they do? Are shelves or places where books can be stored cluttered with other things like toys, games, knick-knacks, or outdated board books? Having a dedicated place for reading books is a great start to growing dedicated readers.

In our home we have many bookshelves – in fact, pretty much every room in the house has at least one bookshelf (except the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry room). This means that we live in an environment surrounded by many books and it makes me so happy!

I have extra bins on the hearth in the living room that are specifically designated for the plethora of library books we lug home (I try limiting the number per kid but thus far I have been wildly unsuccessful). This helps keep the books more organized as well.

Books on lower shelves are generally designated for the younger children. Special reference books or more costly classics and adult literature are higher and thus less likely to be damaged by toddlers.

  • We make places for comfortable reading. Some of my kids want to read flopped on the floor on their bellies. Some love snuggling on the couch with blankets and throw pillows. Some wedge themselves tightly in the corner between the wall and the piano with their book. Some hide in their bed, some sit outside on a blanket… you get the picture. Each child has a preferred way of reading that allows them to be comfortable and concentrate.

If I want to encourage an environment of reading, it’s in my best interest to help enable the comfort of my reader, whether by providing a basket of smaller (easily washable) blankets in the living room, some durable floor cushions for those who want to lounge on the carpet, or ensuring they have a decent light source in their room (for my older kids). Even finding a smaller, kid-sized table and chairs can encourage reading habits since they are more comfortable in a space that fits them best.

  • We limit screen time. This one’s important. In order to encourage an atmosphere that fosters reading, I make it a priority to decrease access and exposure to screens, since any screen time (even the educational kind) seems to cause limited attention-span, deter creativity, minimize logical thought, and (in my personal experience) create negative attitudes and behavior that exponentially increases with the amount of screen time. When I notice my kids starting to whine about boredom and wanting to watch something, that’s my cue to carefully assess the time we’ve been permitting in front of a screen and to start assigning more books.
  • We set the example. The truth is that children will listen to what their parents say, but they are far more likely to imitate the behavior they see. If I want to raise children who are self-motivated learners, careful thinkers, and avid readers, this is the kind of person I need to be myself.

I grew up overseas with limited access to many modern conveniences. Books were something my family considered an essential, and my siblings and I reread our favorite chapter books and classic novels dozens of times. Books were a cherished source of information and entertainment. Now as an adult, being a voracious reader comes naturally to me.

Because my children see me (and their dad) reading often, they hear us getting excited discussing books and stories, and they observe me eagerly anticipating trips to the library, they also have assimilated this excited, positive attitude toward reading because it is normal for our household.

  • We read to the children. This should perhaps be the most obvious, but it is one of the most crucial pieces to implement in a home that wants to cherish readers. Reading out loud to my children is perhaps the most important way to grow their interest in and love of books.

Stories from the Bible, stories from classic literature, excellent children’s works by authors from around the world, modern fables and ancient myths, fairy tales and heartwarming family stories – humankind has always been fascinated and interested in stories, and my children are no different.

Even as we home school, reading snippets of great books for narration and copywork often whets their appetite for more of the same story, and often creates a need to make a new library run for more books!

Reading to the kids doesn’t have to be a long, onerous burden. Setting a timer for ten minutes, or even starting a routine of reading a chapter aloud of a good book while everyone else pitches in and folds laundry or colors in a coloring book is a way to incorporate reading at home.

Carefully observe your day and see where there are moments that might work for reading – even if it’s for only 10-15 minutes at a time. In a busy household, it’s important to be creative and flexible, but committed to reading.

To recap:

Here’s how we work to intentionally create a home environment that fosters a thriving group of young readers:

1. We make space for books.

2. We create places for reading comfortably.

3. We limit screen time.

4. We set the example.

5. We read to our kids.

Happy reading!

Up next: Part Two: What I Actually Use to Teach My Children How to Read