Category: Miller Life

How I Home School K-3rd Grade Now: Simple MATHEMATICS

Barefoot, in the kitchen, on the floor, teaching my son 1st Grade Math. What this picture doesn’t show is the dishes in the sink, the piled laundry waiting to be folded, and the toddler wailing in the background while she clomps around the hall in my shoes. Welcome to my home school life.

(PART 2)

In my last article (found here:), I wrote about keeping the focus big and bright on only four basics:  

Mathematics, Reading, Writing, and Character Development.

Let’s talk Math!

At this early age, Math is pretty straightforward. (Even if Math scares you a little, like it does for me.) I try to keep it as one of the first subjects we do each day so that their minds are fresh and ready to tackle it well!

Depending on your child’s learning style, there are many options that could work.

I tend to keep it pretty simple and use A Beka workbooks. They are repetitive but very thorough, so I know my child will be solidly grounded in the math facts by the end of the grade. They usually cost around $22-25, and are widely available.

I also don’t get the answer keys since the math is so basic I figure I don’t need them at this level.  (Don’t tell A Beka.) 

I have a small bin of plastic “counting bears” as a visual aid for addition and subtraction for my earliest learners, and to explain lower-level multiplication/division. Anything small will work – buttons, beans, toy cars, crayons, Cheerios… (just don’t be surprised if the Cheerios start disappearing mysteriously).

Other moms I know have kids who do better with other math curriculum, like Math-U-See or Singapore Math. It really comes down to how your child learns best.  

Try not to get too bogged down in research before you just start. It can become so overwhelming that decision-paralysis sets in. 

If your child is genuinely struggling, pray about it first. The God who created your child’s mind and heart will help bring you the wisdom and resources you need.  It’s remarkable how suddenly the connections and information you’re looking for will gently become clear in the upcoming days.  It’s another way God shows His loving care and concern for every aspect of our lives.

The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

Psalm 37:23, NLT

Sometimes He’ll bring along another mom with a kid who learns remarkably similarly to yours, and you can get help and advice along with friendly support!

You know your child.

Trust your gut and trust that you are the best person to figure out how to help them learn in the way that most fits them.

If your child is a slow and deliberate math student (I have at least one of these), it might be a good idea to set a timer, and take a break from whatever else you are doing to sit with them and patiently explain and help. Kind voice, no judgement, just pretend you’re a tutor with nothing else to do but patiently help this child have a pleasant interaction with math for a brief time.

Start with 15 mins (or less), if they’re struggling. Then slowly work up to 30 mins.  When the timer rings, math is done for the day.  Even if they’ve only got through half a page. Or less.  At the start it should be more about teaching consistency and familiarity with concepts. And avoiding tears. (For them and you!) 

Then, as they get a bit older and more confident, another helpful idea is to plan something fun or different that they enjoy immediately following math (if math is more of a challenge for them). Have a coloring or LEGO-time for 20 mins afterwards, or a fun snack, or let them run outside and blow bubbles or build a fort in the living room, or have a read-aloud time with an enjoyable book, cuddling together.

If your child is more like a streak of light able to rush and get through math quickly (I’ve got a few of these), require a minimum amount per day – for me it’s one lesson (2 pages), and I check in often to make sure they understand what they’re doing. 

But for the most part, these lightning-learners only need my help with explaining a new concept – and then they’re off again.  Sometimes I have to slow them down and encourage them to breathe – my young daughter flew through seven lessons without stopping the other morning, and I wanted to make sure she was grasping the new material.

Home school is wonderful in that if your child wants to fly and feels confident shooting through the material in a subject, they can!

They are not being held back by the lowest common denominator, but can move quickly on to something that actually challenges them more, even if it is beyond their peer-group grade level.

Home school is phenomenal in that if your child needs extra time and nurturing in a subject so that they achieve mastery before moving on, they have that opportunity!

They are able to receive the attention and tailored approach they need to thrive and learn. This relieves the stress, fear, and the feelings of inadequacy and insecurity that can easily develop in a forced group-learning style when something is more of a challenge for them. 

One day I sat at the table and helped one child with two things: how to write a number eight (my child was stumped) and what the ten’s place value was. For thirty minutes we did nothing else except practice swooping 8’s, and discussing and practicing place value.

Guess what? While we did not get through even a fraction of the workbook that day, by the end there was an encouraged smile in place of tears, a new pride in the smoothly-written 8’s on the page, and a secure grasp of place value for two-digit numbers.

This was serious math success because of the way my child had experienced math in a positive, confident way. This is when home schooling seriously rocks!

What a precious gift this kind of learning can be – for their heart and yours.

So take a deep breath, mama. You got this! I’m cheering you on.

– Maria

If you’ve found this article helpful, please share it on your social media pages, and send me a message to let me know it was valuable! (I’ll be so pleased and thrilled I’ll probably cry. I tend to do that.)

If you have any questions or want to know more about what I use and how I homeschool, send me your question in the comments and I will get back to you!

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Next up! Part 3- How I Home School K-3rd Grade Now: READING! Woohoo! (Can you tell I’m excited?)

How I Homeschool My Kindergarten – 3rd Graders Now – Keep it Simple!

With my crew of eight littles ages 11 through 2 years, each day is always very interesting. 

Time doesn’t seem to flow around here – it moves in blurbs and dashes, sometimes with a big splotch for emphasis, like Morse Code mixed with a Jackson Pollack. 

Which leaves me often desperate for some kind of analyst to tell me what’s really going on here, to interpret the big picture, because I can easily lose focus and forget what the main point is.

What am I talking about again?  Oh, right.  Home schooling.

I believe that home school can be satisfying, fulfilling, and (gasp) even enjoyable – for you and your kids.

I want to underwhelm you by sharing what I do in home schooling so that you get excited about the privilege and joyful position you’ve been given to teach your children, rather than stressed and overwhelmed with pressure and performance anxiety.

Here is the main point for my home schooling of my Kindergarten – 3rd Grade kids:

RIGHT NOW, in this season of life, I need to focus on the basics.  That’s it.

What are the basics, you ask?  Glad you asked!

For me right now, here’s the (short) list:

  1. Mathematics
  2. Reading
  3. Writing
  4. Character Development (the most important, hence the last one)

There we have it, folks.  Otherwise known as “The Three ‘R’s” (apparently people couldn’t spell well back in the day, probably because they didn’t have Google or spell check) combined with intentional, godly parenting.

I feel like sighing with relief every time I remember this list. 

It makes me glad I home school.

Because educating your kids at home shouldn’t be a heavy, oppressive burden. It’s just easy to make it that way. We have a choice to make it better – for ourselves and our kids.

Also, think about the things that might be on your “required” list for homeschooling which may not be a true requirement.

Guilt or comparison or tradition are terrible reasons for any scholastic pursuit, even if it seems fun or “educational” or “encourages creativity” or is guaranteed to assure your child a spot in an swanky university in ten years.

Be honest. If something is starting to feel like you’re including it in your school day without a good reason, I’d suggest taking a hard look at why it’s there. 

If it’s draining you or your child and creating a time-vacuum that wreaks havoc on the rest of your day, or if your other children and responsibilities are suffering, drop that sucker like a hot potato.

(Which reminds me, what’s for dinner? Potatoes?)

For me, a lot of extra subjects, big projects, and in-depth studies for my kids at their young age is only going stress me and them out, create a lot of mess in my home very full of little humans, and stress me out.  (I get stressed twice when the occasion calls for it.) 

Home school should really be about a healthy way of incorporating education into the home life you have, not enforcing a rigid school-at-home.

In an upcoming post I will elaborate on each of these “Basics” and what I actually do to include them in my (home school) day. In the meantime, take heart:

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. -(2 Peter 1:3)

This includes raising and teaching your kids.  So take a moment to thank Him for this incredible gift!

You got this. I’m here cheering you on!

– Maria

Mama Was a Preacher: (A Simple Mindset Check for Parents)

Hey there, Friend!

Quick question for you today:

If you were a swim coach, told that you had four weeks to teach a class of newbies how to survive being thrown in the deep end of the pool, what would you do? 

You would design a strategic plan to teach those people the essential skills they would need to pass the test!  You would review the plan daily, making sure you covered and carefully taught all that they needed to know!  

All along, you would know you had a time limit to complete your task, so you wouldn’t waste class time on showing them the best way to spread out their towels, or how to match their swim cap to their bathing suit. You would get them in the pool and get cracking on the important things!  

So in the arena of parenting, what is your deepest hoped-for outcome in parenting your kids? 

What, in your mind, is equal to the deep end of the pool?

  • Being a good and kind person?
  • Is it getting (and keeping) a successful job? 
  • Paying for their own college degree, car, or mortgage? 
  • Marrying someone who loves them?  
  • Finally learning how to do their own laundry and cooking? 

What is it that you would consider to be your benchmark goal of “success” in parenting? 

Does it have anything to do with knowing, loving, and pursuing God?

If you have any children, you have been given the calling of parenthood.  This means that far beyond just ensuring they survive to adulthood, you are also called to be someone who speaks into their lives with intention and purpose, teaching them diligently how to follow God and obey His Word.

Sounds like “Preacher” is part of the job description that falls under “Parent”… doesn’t it?

We have been given the task of influencing, directing, wisely counseling, and deliberately discipling our children, whether we have one or twenty-one of the punks.

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it,” Scripture says (Proverbs 22:6, NLT). 

“We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the LORD, about his power and his mighty wonders,” Psalm 78:4 (NLT) declares.

The protégé of the Apostle Paul, Timothy, was reminded: “You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus,” (2 Timothy 3:15, NLT).  That is the essential aim of parenting as a believer – that our children would whole-heartedly trust in Christ Jesus and receive His salvation. Beyond this, all else is secondary.

Do we live like this is true?  Do we parent like our to-do list each day includes: “And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These words I am commanding you today are to be upon your hearts. And you shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.…”? (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

Like the hypothetical swim coach, we have been given a time limit for achieving our goals for our children, whatever they may be. Our children will not be at home with us indefinitely. 

So are we shaping our time with our littles in a way that demonstrates our commitment to our goal of teaching them diligently? Are we speaking about the commands and righteous living outlined in the Scriptures as passionately and frequently as the passage above directs?

We are called to be preachers of God’s word in our own homes, not only to our children but to our own hearts as well.  “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength,” the Scripture states, as a directly personal command. 

The truth of God’s Word is to be upon our own hearts – or else how can we presume to pour it out into the hearts of our children?

The way to gain our children’s respect in teaching them this love for God is if we are first modeling it ourselves in integrity and truth. This means daily intentional pursuit and committed, persistent choices to turn our hearts and thoughts to Him.

Let’s decide to deliberately plan out and actively teach what our children will need in order to effectively pursue and love God on their own – letting our parenting goals be shaped by the truth of His Word, not our world.

Let’s decide to seek Him fiercely and fervently for ourselves and our own often- feeble hearts. He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak (Isaiah 40:29), and He also generously gives wisdom to those who ask for it (James 1:5). Jesus Himself prayed for us, that we would have the same love for God that God had for Jesus (John 17:25), so we can have no fear of repeating such an audacious request to Him. (I do, often!)

Let’s choose today to be the intentional, faithful, and sincere preachers of the Word to our children that we have been called and chosen to be.

Go get ’em, Mama. Your congregation awaits.

The Flock in My Care – A Hopeful Reminder for Tired Mamas

(Confessions from a Mama of Many)

Hey Mama.

How’s your heart been today?

If you are a tad weary, a little worn, feeling stretched, depleted, and often discouraged by how often you are discouraged, I can absolutely relate.

Being the bedrock of a little person’s life is draining. Being the foundational piece of how they find comfort, sustenance, information, regulation, and rest is hard work.

Multiply that number by however many children you may care for, and the flat-out truth is that parenting is a significant, important, and often utterly exhausting enterprise.

The raising and care of little people can be bewildering in the immense variety of needs and areas of focus. You are one person and the work is so much.

So guess what? Admitting and accepting that you can’t do it all is the first step in walking straight into the peace our own Father gives.

Parenting is often more about being parented.

Each challenge, each struggle, each situation, each interaction, each new need you face in your day is an opportunity for you to become childlike yourself and press into the loving, huge arms that are held out to hold you and to nestle your head on the broad, strong shoulder you can fully rest on and trust in.

Psalm 68:19 exclaims, “Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms.” (NLT)

Another cherished verse from Scripture for me is Isaiah:

“He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.” 

Isaiah 40:11 (NLT)

One of the best things about this verse is that the mother sheep is not alone, guarding her young by herself out in the wild.  She’s not trying to scavenge for her food and the food for her littles, defend everyone from predators, and be ever vigilant and all-knowing about every disease or difficulty that the flock will face. 

She’s under the shepherd’s care right along with her lambs. She’s not the one ultimately responsible for their well-being and met needs: He is.

This gives me peace, like a sigh of relief. It’s not all on my shoulders. I can walk each day, doing the best I can with what I have been given, and know at the end of it I am not the final answer. The final answer comes from Someone infinitely more capable, wise, gracious, patient, kind-hearted, tender, and loving than I am.

My job is to manage and care for the little ones I have been given. As a mama sheep with my own littles, it’s as if I’m an under-shepherd.

My calling is to teach them to listen for and follow the voice of our Shepherd. I am to demonstrate complete trust in His faithfulness and ability to care for all my needs.

Children hear what you say but they are more likely to imitate what they see.

My children should see me run to the Shepherd joyfully and quickly for safety, comfort, and sustenance each and every day so that when they also require those things, they know what pattern to replicate in their own lives.

1 Peter 5:2 was written to pastors and overseers (i.e. “shepherds”) of groups of believers in the Early Church, but this also makes it applicable to a mama like me:

“Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.”

1 Peter 5:2 (NLT)

My littles are in my care. They have been “entrusted” to me, and I am charged to watch over them with a willing heart and an eagerness to please my Great Shepherd, to whom I will answer for my work.

My prayer for you today is that you will find solace and peace in knowing His tender, watchful care for you. I pray that you will know the deep joy that comes when your heart is soft and quick to turn and follow His guidance.

And I pray that you will walk courageously in the love He gives you each day, willing and eager to pour it out on the little ones you watch over.

Grace and peace to your heart, Shepherd-Mama.

Our Shepherd smiles when He sees you.

How I’m Raising Eager Readers: Part Three

I want my kids to love reading and to have good feelings about it! Pushing through when they’re having a hard time or are feeling poorly is a sure-fire way to create resentment and frustration, not to mention significant weepiness. (And that’s not even talking about my kid’s reaction.)

When Reading Runs Amuck: How I Combat Some Reading-Time Challenges

Sometimes reading time slants sideways even before the book is opened.

Yes, even for my family of book-lovers, these times come too. The whining and complaining starts, and bargaining for a really short lesson or a different activity begins. Thirst, hunger, exhaustion and mental fatigue strike with astonishing speed, and the chores that earlier seemed so tedious and unimportant suddenly appear fascinating and urgent. Kids who can intently focus on a game or something else they enjoy suddenly can’t seem to hold still or concentrate for more than three seconds.

Here’s the list of questions I run through to figure out how to triage the reading blues:

1. Is there a physical need or problem my child is facing?

Are they tired, hungry, or cranky?  Are they dealing with a cold or another ailment? If any of these things are a yes, I will try to cut the lesson shorter, or just shelve it till we have resolved the problem.  Otherwise it’s just not worth the emotional struggle. 

I want my kids to love reading and to have good feelings about it!  Pushing through when they’re having a  hard time or are feeling poorly is a sure-fire way to create resentment and frustration, not to mention significant weepiness.  (And that’s not even talking about my kid’s reaction.)

2. Is there a natural personality or behavioral trait at work, or is this abnormal behavior?

 Are they naturally more energetic and wiggly, finding sitting still a challenge? 

If it’s squirminess within that particular child’s normal range, I try to work with it instead of fighting it, especially at a young age.  As they grow older and gain more self control, sitting or standing still can be worked on with less resistance and greater ease.

Some people have a natural tendency to concentrate better while they’re moving – even as adults. Instead of fighting this and making everyone miserable, I figure, why not be creative and plan to accommodate the wiggle?  Reading becomes so much more pleasant and successful!

I have had one son, my earliest reader, stand next to me while I sat on the floor with the reading book.  He squirmed, waved his arms, hugged himself, kicked his legs, and bounced around me the whole time – but he was actively reading the sounds.  He did an amazing job – but I had to be willing to adjust to his unorthodox, squirmy method of learning with patience and grace. I now have fond memories of these reading lessons, since I saw the rapid progress he made when he was free to physically move as he needed.

I do try my best to gauge whether it is a natural energetic movement where the child is still able to focus and concentrate well on the reading, or if the wiggles are just a sign of boredom or resistance to facing a challenge.  If I’m finding that my child is distracted and unable to read while wiggling, then I do encourage more deliberately quiet positioning, but perhaps after a timed period of short exercise like five laps around the back yard or twenty burpees as fast as possible!

3. Is this a learning area that they have been finding an ongoing challenge or is this new?

Some kids just naturally take to reading. While they may have some rocky patches and off-days, in general the path from letters to sounds to words and sentences is generally straight and mostly smooth.

Other children’s experience can be more challenging – like they suddenly were thrown off a safe, high cliff into deep and murky waters where every vowel sound changes ominously and compound sounds lurk like sharks. (At least, that’s the impression I get from reading with them!)

Some kids really do need more time and help with reading.  One of mine requires extra patience and persistence, since it seems that almost every lesson something previously learned is forgotten and we’ve lost some ground.  We have been making good progress in spite of the setbacks, however, and it’s important for me to remember to look back and see how far we’ve come, and the overall general success we’ve already achieved!

Any learning challenge can potentially be very draining, discouraging, and exasperating for both parent and child. It’s important to hold on and just keep going in short, cheery bursts as often as possible, celebrating small victories with a big smile and sincere excitement (and maybe a small treat or a fun activity.)

Consistence with persistence… and get assistance if you need it! There is so much more information and help available nowadays for parents who are helping children through dyslexia and other learning issues, and sometimes the best way to teach your child to read is to let someone else help you do it if you’re struggling, with no guilt or shame about it. 

Here’s to raising eager readers!

How I’m Raising Eager Readers (Part Two)

My Method in the Madness

In a large family with so many littles, I’ve had to streamline and simplify how I teach reading. 

I use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons (by Siegfied Engelmann, Phyllis Haddox & Elaine Bruner, Touchstone Publishing) with a significant twist! 

This battered copy has been through six children so far… starting the seventh sometime later this year!

If you are at all familiar with this book, you know that the sounds and words to be taught are in a large, bold font.  After the first introductory lessons which do not have stories, each lesson has a simple picture with a “story” (some of only a sentence or two, others much longer) for the child to read which practices the sounds and words they learned.  (Some of these stories are a hoot, and my children grew to anticipate whatever funny story they would read that day!)

This book uses a special orthographic (how words are spelled) font so that children become familiar with the sounds certain letters make without being confused by sound rules.

Each lesson also comes with a carefully detailed script – both for the parent to say/teach (in pink print) and an expected response from the child for each lesson.  They also give writing exercises, rhyming activities, picture comprehension questions, and multiple questions/answers throughout each lesson. 

Confession time: I only focus on the bold print when I teach my children reading from this book. 

Yep, I brazenly ignore all the fine print, writing exercises, rhyming, and multiple admonishments for repeated readings.  (I know, shocking!)

This way there is a lot less drag and irritation from the slow progress, and my kids and I can zip through the first several lessons without even breaking a sweat.  Because the book starts very simply, teaching only two sounds in the first lesson, then slowly building each time, I often find that my child can easily cover multiple lessons in the early days, then as the reading increases and the stories at the end become a little longer, we “slow down” to about two or so for each reading session.  (One of my children was so excited by her progress that she insisted on covering about four to five lessons each time we worked on her reading!)

Here’s my method in the madness, broken down:

1. I use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but teach using only the bold text without following the script.

I use it as a resource, not a mandated method. My kids react with irritation if I try to slowly go through all fine-print script, slowing us all down and increasing frustration.  When I let it go, they start to fly through the lessons with increasing enthusiasm and excitement.  It is an easy choice.

2. I use the actual lessons as a general guide, but go at the pace my child sets, rather than insisting he/she completes a set number of lessons or pages. 

If we are struggling through one lesson and don’t even finish and ten minutes is up, I often say cheerily, “OK, let’s get to the end of this line (or to the bottom of this page) and then let’s stop for the day!  Great work so far!” because then my child knows the end is in sight and is encouraged to keep going for just a little longer. 

I try to generally aim for about ten minutes at least for “reading time” with me, in addition to whatever books they read to themselves or each other before bedtime or during quiet time.

Once in a while, I know my child is just being a punk and decided that he/she doesn’t feel like doing the work of reading that day.  So then I will tell them that they need to complete a page (or a lesson) before moving on to another activity (like playing), and if they refuse, they will lose that other activity. As the mom of my kids, I can tell when it’s totally an attitude thing versus a real problem like an illness or exhaustion or low blood sugar.

Even though I want reading to be enjoyable, sometimes getting to that point will be work.  And teaching my child that work is part of life is never a bad thing. 

3. I often fit “reading time” in with normal life.  This means that after we get through the initial lessons and my child is more confident in reading, I often have a child sitting (or lying!) on a mat on the kitchen floor next to me or sitting on the couch, reading aloud, while I clean up breakfast dishes, fold laundry, or cook dinner.  I stay close and keep an eye on their book and can usually direct them easily if they make an error or need a reminder about a certain sound, or can chat with them about the picture and discuss the story.

This way I can get through about two or three children’s reading lessons (usually the most I have in this learning stage is three kids at a time) while still getting through the regular household things that I need to accomplish for our family.

4. I never insist that we finish the book! 

I have experienced now with several children that by the time they reach around lesson 75 (three-quarters of the way through the book), they have enough confidence and reading skills that they have already begun reading other books that they themselves have chosen, on topics they find interesting. THIS IS SUCCESS.

Some of my kids never go back to 100 Easy Lessons because they self-teach new words and sounds through other materials. (Often later they go back and read the fun stories at the end of each lesson, merely as an entertainment rather than a scholastic endeavor.)

And I cheerily put it back on the shelf to wait for the next upcoming reader, knowing it has successfully completed its mission of helping me teach reading to my child.

Booyah! Victory.

There you have it, the basic way I teach reading in my home.  Up next: Part Three: How I cope with specific challenges like wiggly kids, meltdown-days, and learning difficulties.

How I’m Raising Eager Readers (Part One)

5 Things I Do to Create a Home Where Readers Thrive

My five-year-old, starting yet another chapter book.

Of my eight children aged 11 to 2 years, six are reading, most of them with great proficiency. My earliest reader was one of my sons, while he was still 3 years old. Our adopted son is also reading well within his age group, despite coming from another country with an entirely different language and no prior English experience.

The average age of children starting reading in our home is about age 4. I laugh and think by now it’s usually a matter of survival – with so many books and reading siblings around, the younger ones think it’s absolutely typical, and just figure that the earlier they get started the sooner they can join the fun!

Now I find myself frequently frustrated that someone is so lost in a book that they have neglected their chores or forgot to shower or are oblivious to my calling that dinner is on the table!

While a house full of bookworms lost in stacks of books is a commonplace scene for me, I have to admit that this is not just by chance.

Creating an environment where readers thrive is an intentional choice. As a parent, I have a direct impact on how my children view reading and books based on how I choose to incorporate them in our home.

Creating a Home Where Readers Thrive
  • We make space for books. While this may seem obvious, it is nonetheless important to note. Are there bookshelves or cupboards available for your children’s books which are easily accessible to them? Is there enough room for their libraries to grow as they do? Are shelves or places where books can be stored cluttered with other things like toys, games, knick-knacks, or outdated board books? Having a dedicated place for reading books is a great start to growing dedicated readers.

In our home we have many bookshelves – in fact, pretty much every room in the house has at least one bookshelf (except the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry room). This means that we live in an environment surrounded by many books and it makes me so happy!

I have extra bins on the hearth in the living room that are specifically designated for the plethora of library books we lug home (I try limiting the number per kid but thus far I have been wildly unsuccessful). This helps keep the books more organized as well.

Books on lower shelves are generally designated for the younger children. Special reference books or more costly classics and adult literature are higher and thus less likely to be damaged by toddlers.

  • We make places for comfortable reading. Some of my kids want to read flopped on the floor on their bellies. Some love snuggling on the couch with blankets and throw pillows. Some wedge themselves tightly in the corner between the wall and the piano with their book. Some hide in their bed, some sit outside on a blanket… you get the picture. Each child has a preferred way of reading that allows them to be comfortable and concentrate.

If I want to encourage an environment of reading, it’s in my best interest to help enable the comfort of my reader, whether by providing a basket of smaller (easily washable) blankets in the living room, some durable floor cushions for those who want to lounge on the carpet, or ensuring they have a decent light source in their room (for my older kids). Even finding a smaller, kid-sized table and chairs can encourage reading habits since they are more comfortable in a space that fits them best.

  • We limit screen time. This one’s important. In order to encourage an atmosphere that fosters reading, I make it a priority to decrease access and exposure to screens, since any screen time (even the educational kind) seems to cause limited attention-span, deter creativity, minimize logical thought, and (in my personal experience) create negative attitudes and behavior that exponentially increases with the amount of screen time. When I notice my kids starting to whine about boredom and wanting to watch something, that’s my cue to carefully assess the time we’ve been permitting in front of a screen and to start assigning more books.
  • We set the example. The truth is that children will listen to what their parents say, but they are far more likely to imitate the behavior they see. If I want to raise children who are self-motivated learners, careful thinkers, and avid readers, this is the kind of person I need to be myself.

I grew up overseas with limited access to many modern conveniences. Books were something my family considered an essential, and my siblings and I reread our favorite chapter books and classic novels dozens of times. Books were a cherished source of information and entertainment. Now as an adult, being a voracious reader comes naturally to me.

Because my children see me (and their dad) reading often, they hear us getting excited discussing books and stories, and they observe me eagerly anticipating trips to the library, they also have assimilated this excited, positive attitude toward reading because it is normal for our household.

  • We read to the children. This should perhaps be the most obvious, but it is one of the most crucial pieces to implement in a home that wants to cherish readers. Reading out loud to my children is perhaps the most important way to grow their interest in and love of books.

Stories from the Bible, stories from classic literature, excellent children’s works by authors from around the world, modern fables and ancient myths, fairy tales and heartwarming family stories – humankind has always been fascinated and interested in stories, and my children are no different.

Even as we home school, reading snippets of great books for narration and copywork often whets their appetite for more of the same story, and often creates a need to make a new library run for more books!

Reading to the kids doesn’t have to be a long, onerous burden. Setting a timer for ten minutes, or even starting a routine of reading a chapter aloud of a good book while everyone else pitches in and folds laundry or colors in a coloring book is a way to incorporate reading at home.

Carefully observe your day and see where there are moments that might work for reading – even if it’s for only 10-15 minutes at a time. In a busy household, it’s important to be creative and flexible, but committed to reading.

To recap:

Here’s how we work to intentionally create a home environment that fosters a thriving group of young readers:

1. We make space for books.

2. We create places for reading comfortably.

3. We limit screen time.

4. We set the example.

5. We read to our kids.

Happy reading!

Up next: Part Two: What I Actually Use to Teach My Children How to Read

Crusty Bread, Cheeses & Sides: The Perfect Evening Meal with Al Fresco Flair

A Miller family favorite, this delightful and easy dinner is a weekly event in our home! Basic French Bread recipe below.

Fresh French Bread rolls, with spicy pickles; Brie with carmelized onions, brown sugar, and apricot preserves; blanched asparagus spears; sliced ripe strawberries; assorted deli meats; and a sliced aged Gouda.

A delicious, simple meal focusing on bread, an assortment of cheeses, sliced vegetables and fresh fruits, olives, pickles, meats, and often a small dish of olive oil and balsamic vinegar for dipping. Versatile and breezy, feel free to include whatever sides make you happy!

Hard-boiled or deviled eggs? Hummus and pita? Tapenade, bruschetta, or goat cheese – we love them all! Add a small bowl of whatever seasonal fruits or berries you find available as a special treat, as this meal is something of a celebration!

In our home we take special notice of Friday evening, marking it with a special meal and some family traditions like a special blessing and family Communion before sharing the food together. It’s something my children eagerly anticipate each week. Pausing to acknowledge the week’s end and to give thanks for the rest and refreshment that the weekend provides while refocusing on the blessings God has given us is an important part of the cadence of our family life.

While this Friday meal is special, it is by no means difficult. The majority of the food is usually handheld (although we do often include a salad), and that makes it enjoyable and relaxing, especially for the kids! (They lovingly refer to this meal as “Bread-and-Cheese”). To make it even more celebratory, we often include a sparkling juice for the kids and wine for the adults.

I usually start thinking and planning for it during the week and try to stock up on the things I will want for it so it becomes simply a matter of just laying it all out by Friday afternoon.

I hope you find this an inspiration to create your own delicious, simple, yet celebratory family feast soon!

Buon apetito!

Here’s my recipe for French Bread, which I make about once a week and shape into many versatile forms – Enjoy!

Basic French Bread Recipe

This recipe is inspired from Peter Reinhart’s Artisan Breads Every Day, my most-used bread recipe book. I don’t usually have time to make bread dough the day before, nor do I usually have the fridge space to chill it overnight like many of his recipes require, so I just simplify the process and dump the ingredients in my sweet and helpful bread machine, Melba. (Don’t tell Peter.) If you don’t have a lovely Melba-machine of your own, here’s the link to Peter’s original recipe: https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120580907

Meet Melba:

Melba, my faithful little kitchen handmaiden of doughy gloriousness.

Melba is a wonder. I just punch in the number for dough (on this machine, #8), put my ingredients in the metal bucket in the right order (making sure that paddle is in there, too). Then I hit the “start” button and one-and-a-half-hours later, I have some beautiful dough ready to go, already risen once and ready for shaping!

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups lukewarm water
  • 2 TBSP olive oil (if desired, technically this voids the “authentic” French bread part of it, but I do it anyway. You decide.)
  • 3 tsp salt
  • 5 1/4 cups bread flour (Yes, bread flour. It’s going to give that springy, delightful chewiness that makes French bread so wonderful. BUT. If you don’t have it, you can absolutely use all-purpose and it will be fine.)
  • 2 1/4 tsp active yeast

Put all ingredients in bread machine bucket IN ORDER LISTED (basically note that all wet ingredients go first, then the dry and then yeast on top).

Wait for it… push that button! And boom. Walk away, knowing that your little friendly Melba-machine is going to take care of everything and transform the simple ingredients into something beautiful.

Here’s Melba in action.

OK. Once Melba is done and starts beeping at me, I take the dough bucket and dump it out on a clean, often lightly-sprayed-with-oil surface. In my house, the only place I have room is my dining room table.

While I start this, I often turn my oven on to heat to 170 degrees F. for about two minutes., then I turn it off. (My oven gets pretty hot pretty fast) I do this because I want a warm safe place to let the buns rise, and any hotter isn’t good.

Then I roll out the dough and divide it evenly in half, then half again, so I have four equal dough pieces. For buns, I roll these out lengthwise, then slice them down the middle, then start chopping them up into little blobs about 1 1/2″ across.

Then I roll the blobs into smooth balls and place about an inch apart on a greased baking sheet – in this case, usually my lovely 11×17″ baking sheets. I can fit quite a few buns on these, and often get about 35-40 buns on one.

When I’m all done with the rolling, I put the pans in the oven with the light on and let them rise for 30 minutes. They should be visibly larger by the end of this time. Then, I take them out of the oven and preheat it to 400 degrees F.

I bake them for 12 minutes. Sometimes 13, but rarely more than that. I prefer softer over crunchy, but it’s a matter of taste. If you like more crispy, bake for about 14-15 mins.

Take ’em out and let ’em cool a bit before slicing in half to ease using as little hand-held sandwiches, or serve warm in a bowl with a towel.

By this point, the house usually smells like a glorious fresh hot bread bonanza, and I can rarely resist grabbing one fresh from the pan, stabbing it open with a knife and slathering butter in the middle. I then eat it quickly, giving thanks for such delights as hot fresh bread and butter all the while. If you have fresh strawberry freezer jam, that’s always a great option too. Or a slice of a densely salty aged Gouda or a tangy sharp white cheddar… Or just a lovely drizzle of a good balsamic reduction and a dollop of olive oil.

Makes 4 medium-size baguette loaves, 2 large French or Italian-size loaves, or many buns (based on how big you make the dough blobs). Usually it’s enough for my family of 10 to get full for dinner and still have over a dozen buns leftover.

(You’re welcome.)

8 Kids and a Mini-Bus: An “Ordinary” Family Outing (Keeping It Real)

Move over, Swagger Wagon. Here comes the Spook Bus!

Confessions from a Mama of Many

When it’s ‘just us’, we count ten people.

And since the majority of us still require a booster or a carseat when we travel by car, that means we need a family vehicle that can accommodate this, while also allowing space for groceries, luggage, sports equipment, tools, diaper bags, and the random family friend or two. Or three.

Enter a former shuttle van, a black, 15-passenger Ford Transit, which we affectionately call “The Mini-Bus”, which technically might be an oxymoron.

There’s nothing like arriving at a friends’ barbecue in our big black shiny van.  We often roll up along an extended length of sidewalk to park, because sometimes the driveway is too short.  Turning off the engine, I usually call out careful reminders of overall behavior, expectations of good manners, kindness toward siblings, obedience toward parents, thankfulness towards the hosting family, and then recite the Gettysburg Address.  Just kidding.  (About the Gettysburg Address, I mean. I actually do say all the rest.)

Then we open the big side door. This is usually where at least two kids literally fall out onto the sidewalk because they couldn’t wait for a parent to help with their seatbelts and were leaning against the inside of the door, against the rules. The wails and sobbing from the ensuing scraped knees and hands create quite an entrance, if anyone happened to miss the actual arrival.

Then, after dealing with any emergencies, we have the ones who actually got out first without injuries try to stick close in a clump until we get the remaining horde crew out safely. In busy parking lots this can be a fascinating effort since we have a couple daydreamers who tend to drift gently away and completely block other parking spaces or veer into the way of other cars trying to drive by while observing a flying bird, an oddly-shaped cloud, or an interesting crack in the ground, deaf to all reminders to stay close. 

We also have a couple kids who love to finger-paint in the dust of our van – or truly, any available vehicle nearby – trailing once-clean fingers along the sides of streaked cars, then guiltily starting when I shriek their name, quickly wiping the grime from their fingers on their clothing. This is usually on our way in to church, while they’re wearing a nice outfit.

Of all my children, I have only two that have never thrown up in the car. Most of the rest have a strong tendency to carsickness, requiring careful planning and vigilant driving. “Look out the front window! Focus on those trees far away! Stop looking down!” is a commonly heard admonition on family drives. I have learned to bring a constant stash of wipes, bags, and something I’ve developed for these situations: a plastic container with a tightly sealed lid, lined with a couple paper towels for absorption. I usually bring a minimum of three.

On one infamous trip to pick up a food order from a place in the county we hadn’t been before, my GPS stopped working and I got lost driving up and down little forested hills with no idea where I was. Worried that we would miss our scheduled grocery pick up, I was anxious, and the children beginning to cry, squabble, and fight in the back didn’t help.

One of my sons started looking green, and his big sister yelled, “MOM! He’s going to throw up!” I began shrieking in panic, “Hold on! Just hold on! I’m going to pull over as soon as I can!” Seeing a driveway just ahead, I pulled over quickly, leaped out of the van, threw open the door and my son catapulted out to throw up on some bushes by the side of the road. Then, still gray-faced, he got back in the van full of wailing children, and I, completely stressed, hurriedly drove off. I’m not proud of this. (If those were your bushes, I deeply apologize.)

The other day I decided to be brave and load them all up for an outing, to get out of the house for an hour or so. My plan was to quickly throw on shoes, get in the van, drive to our church parking lot where they were handing out 30-day promise/prayer journals, and then head home for lunch.

Deep breath.

First we had to get ready. This involved siblings assisting/struggling with shoes, diaper changes, practicing military salutes, tickle fights, and wrestling when I had asked them to make sure they went to the bathroom.  

Saluting practice. One child apparently feeling two-handed salutes are better than one.
Tickle fight. Because that’s what I meant when I said, “Have you gone to the bathroom?”

One child unexpectedly had an emotional meltdown.

Another disappeared without a trace for about fifteen minutes – I later discovered that they had capriciously decided to change their entire outfit. For a drive where no one was planning on exiting the vehicle, in a van with tinted windows where no one could see them. Brilliant.

Then suddenly  it was remembered that some of the children had already written/drawn some cards/pictures for a couple of the pastors/ministry leaders at our church, so those had to be found to bring along.  But alas! This reminded the children who had not written or drawn any such communiqué that they were remiss and therefore needed to quickly make up for their lack. So, because I was still dealing with the meltdown child and also hadn’t yet gotten myself ready quite yet, I agreed. (Insert head slap.)

Twenty minutes later, now with various envelopes addressed to no less than five different people, each stuffed with drawings/notes, I sent the children who were ready out the front door to climb into the van. They were told to get in, help their little siblings put on their seat belts, and then strap themselves in and wait quietly while I grabbed my purse and locked the door.

 
Before I even managed to get my shoes on, my youngest toddler was somehow back out of the van, wandering around our front porch, and no less than three different children had also come running back inside to tattle or ask an asinine question.

With growing exasperation, I herded them all into the van, told them I was disappointed in their unwillingness to obey quickly, and ensured they were all strapped in.

Off we went!

The twenty-five minute drive was marked by various utterances from the eight passengers:

“Mom! Can you turn up the air conditioning?! I’m HOT!”

“Mom, I’m freezing!”

“Mom! She took my flip flops and won’t give them back!”

“Mom! He just said bum!” (in scandalized tones)

“Mom! He’s playing rock-paper-scissors with her and not looking out the front window so he’s going to get SICK!”

“I’m think I’m going to throw up.” (from the one child who is never carsick)

“I throw up!” (from the toddler, who hadn’t, but likes to say it)

“Mommy! She hit me and she didn’t say sorry!” (Culprit bursts into noisy tears)

Then, moments later, the same child: “Mommy! She’s looking at me!” (Culprit bursts into even louder sobs, this time from a deep sense of injustice.)

And the usual: “Mom! Are we there yet? How much longer?”

Yep. Good thing I was heading to pick up some prayer journals. I could really use them.

“How Do You Do It?” Confessions of a Mama of Many

The Fundamental Secret of How I Do My Life

“Wow! Busy mama!” folks exclaim as we come into sight, before they even stop counting heads.

“How do you do it?”

I hear that question relatively often, from other moms or people who see my large family, with eight kids ranging in age from eleven to two, and think that it equates an unimaginable amount of work and stress only overcome by superhuman abilities. 

While it would be fun to reveal I have some kind of super power or divulge a magical secret formula for how to manage life with many young children, the honest truth is I don’t.

I’m truly not even that patient. (Shocker, I know.)

Every day usually brings at least one moment (or many) where I tell God in exasperation that I just can’t do it, I don’t want to do it, and I have no idea how to keep going.

Then I keep going.

Beyond any sort of efficiency tips, parenting ideologies, logistics or systems I implement, deeper than the homeschool curriculums and methods I employ, deeper even than the energetic, strong personality I’ve been blessed with, these are the two main factors that form the foundation of how I do my life:

1. I turn to God.

2. I don’t quit.

While I am humbly honored by anyone wanting my thoughts on the actual practical ways I operate my home and manage the humans in it, I have to start with the baseline of these two practices.  And the best part is, if I can do this, I absolutely believe anyone can do them as well!

I am fully human, very flawed, prone to frustration, exhaustion, insecurity, and a frantic need to control. The great news is I don’t have to rely on this part of me, because as a follower of Christ, my Bible tells me that I am loved by God, chosen, holy, and free from sin. I have been showered with kindness, wisdom, and understanding. I have been made a new creation, a masterpiece of God, made to do the good things He planned for me long ago. And I am brought near to God through the sacrifice of Christ. (Ephesians 1:4,7-8; 2:10, 13) 

I am not a superhuman. But I trust and know a superbly supreme Super-Being who fills me each day with the ability to live in a way that is not based in my human nature (when I allow Him to).

I can only make it so far on my own strength and ability to control my temper and adjust my attitude. I am unable to be endlessly patient with whining and bickering. I lack the endurance to patiently teach and re-teach a stonewalling, snarky child how to find the greatest common factor, or the right way to fold clean laundry, or to speak respectfully to a younger sibling. I am quickly bewildered by how to get an obstinate toddler to stop spitting on the carpet, or help a frustrated child cope with ongoing eczema outbreaks.

Multiply all that by eight, add a cluttered, dusty house and three daily meals to prepare, and on my own steam I don’t have a chance.

So.

1. I turn to God.

My relationship with God is the dearest thing I possess. Thus I make it a priority to haul my often-tired self out of bed each morning and spend time reading His Word, talking to Him and (here’s the hard part) staying quiet enough to listen to Him. But He meets with me in those quiet morning moments, and His presence brings a solace, joy, and strength to my soul that nothing else gives.

 I would be a fool to skip out on this essential, life-giving interaction, because this is the secret fuel that gives me the power to make it through each day.

I don’t stop eating physical food or drinking water during the day, or I would crash in exhausted lack of energy. In the same way, my time in the Bible and in prayer and meditation is the food that feeds my heart and gets my mindset on track for each situation I may encounter.

Whether it’s ten precious minutes or a delightful hour or more, time with my Father fills me up to carry on my current work of being a mama, wifey, and Household Executive of a family of ten needy, wonderful, imperfect people.

 Even just deliberately choosing to turn my thoughts toward Him throughout my day, whispering a prayer in my heart, and deciding to be thankful for something in the midst of the noisy mess has a way of refilling the joy and peace that only He can give.

2. I don’t quit.

My second “secret” is just to keep going. My God is faithful. I want to be like Him. He doesn’t quit on me – ever. So I know He’ll give me the ability and strength for each new day to put one foot in front of the other on this journey of mothering and homemaking.

And He’ll hold my heart and give me peace when I want to scream, smash a glass dish or two, burn the dinner, and fly away to an isolated Caribbean island for six months. I know because He has done it – and His peace is priceless and incomprehensible.

So basically, my second foundational aspect of how I do my life – not quitting – is also centered in God.

There you have it, the big secret of “how I do it”: God. He’s the “how”. He’s really the only “how” ever. Other things can be helpful, but for me He is the essential.

The Bible states that those who have Him have everything they need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). And God always keeps His promises. Especially to busy, easily overwhelmed mamas like me.

(Thanks for asking!)