Because Resurrection Sunday is so important to our family, I have planned a joyous feast for my littles – special foods that take extra time and care. I purposefully use special decorations and prepare for traditions we only do this day each year.
The “Garden Tomb” (complete with russet potato tomb hollowed out with a spoon) is ready for the bright floral transformation tomorrow. Toothpick soldiers stand guard now, ready to flee or fall down by morning. The bread dough is rising, the eggs have been peeled, the créme Anglaise for the trifle is chilling. We will hide little treats and gifts (each with a color-coded piece of yarn) for a joyful hunt my children declare is their most favorite tradition of all –
And yet.
If these things do not point to the Truth – this celebration is a mere shadow of the Celebration of all celebrations we will join, this feast is to remind us of the Feast of all feasts with our risen and conquering King in the world to come – then it holds as much substance as a marshmallow chick.
In the feasting and rejoicing, the delighting of delicious food and new life and remembering our risen Lord, it is good to not just look back, but to look forward.
We celebrate to remember that we are going home someday to an incredible Celebration that will never end.
We feast to remember we will feast at our King’s table – with all the host of faithful witnesses who have gone before us and also those who now wait for him with us.
We joyously sing with our fellow sojourners in Sunday services to remember we will one day roar his praise in our native tongue in our true Homeland.
And we let our children to seek for that which is sweet and precious to try to show that our Lord was once hidden but can be found for those who search for him – and that he is most precious of all, and sweetest of all delightful things.
It is through these traditions and celebrations and joyful feastings we create a space for a deep homesickness to rise up in our heart and the hearts of those with us. (1 Peter 2:9-12)
Jesus rose from death so that we can live without fear or shame, now covered by his righteousness like royal robes, ambassadors for his Kingdom and crowned heirs of his glory. (2 Cor. 5:20)
We celebrate our King’s resurrection to remind ourselves that this day is unlike any other, and is the one thing that gives purpose and meaning to our lives. (1 Cor. 15:12-19)
Let us celebrate so fiercely, so joyously, and so weighted with the coming glory we will share, that those who are without this joy cannot help but see the fire and light in us, and ask us the reason for the hope we carry. (1 Peter 3:15)
A blessed and joyous Resurrection Sunday celebration to you and your loves.
HE IS RISEN INDEED!
Wear your crown, carry your sword. -Maria Miller
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Once upon a time, there was a glorious kingdom ruled by a monarch of unsurpassed excellence, wisdom, and might. This king had two adopted children, and daily he met with them in the palace gardens to teach them about the kingdom. They had wonderful times together, and they loved each other dearly.
There was, however, an insidious and evil High Chancellor who plotted to take the throne! He had planted his traitorous spies and assassins throughout the kingdom.
One dark night, war broke out. Though the King and his armies were victorious, as the enemy retreated, the royal children were kidnapped and taken as prisoners.
Gagged, bound, beaten, thrown into a filthy cart, they could only weep in terror and sorrow as they watched their beloved home shrink in the distance. The dark shadowy mist of the wild territory of their enemy became all they knew in the months ahead. They were forced to work as slaves deep in the mines of the enemy’s fortress, chained in the cold darkness and treated with brutality.
The children tried to recall the things their King-Father would talk about with them in the gardens back in the wonderful, dreamlike days before their imprisonment, but it was hard to remember clearly. Hope was thin and threadbare.
Then, one day, an unusual Messenger rode into the dark territory – an Ambassador sent by the King of the glorious Kingdom! He had come to reclaim not only his children, but all the slaves, and had brought an unimaginably large amount of treasure as ransom.
Their foul enemy mockingly laughed as he greedily counted the treasure, for he planned to keep the ransom and the slaves and kill the Ambassador.
Suddenly his laughter strangled in his throat, and he cowered like a dog, as the Ambassador threw off his outer robes and was revealed to be – the King himself, with a blazing sword in hand and fire in his eyes!
The King contemptuously and furiously beat him with the flat of his sword, sending him yelping in pain and humiliation and scurrying like a rat out the nearest door.
Then the King searched the dungeons till he found his children. He struck off their chains and brought them out to a light-filled open square. He wept with joy as he held their bruised, filthy bodies close to his heart.
Kissing their faces and looking into their tear-filled eyes, he told them that though they were now free, it was not yet time to return home.
In the meantime, they were to tell as many slaves as possible that their time of enslavement was over! Because their freedom was purchased by the King, they now had citizenship and a future home in the glorious Kingdom. They and any slave who claimed the King as their own would be given full rights and citizenship as his royal children.
The King had the children bathed and fed, and gave them clean, lovely robes and bright crowns of gold to wear as proof that they were his Royal Ambassadors.
Then he pulled from his bag a large leather book, carefully copied by his own hand. Written in the language of the glorious kingdom, it contained all that the Ambassador-Children would need to know to complete their task before the King returned.
As he handed them each a copy of his Book, it transformed into swords exactly like His – swords that glowed with a warm white light, strong enough to kill a dragon, sharp enough to split a hair, yet light enough that a child could carry it.
The children solemnly and with fierce joy strapped on their weapons. Then after one last long embrace and promise of His swift return, the King rode off.
The children, watching, saw his strong, upright form slowly grow faint in the mist. Then they turned, bright faced, back to the dark territory to start the task of declaring to the other slaves the same truth and promise they had been given, and to wait with fierce joy for their King-Father’s victorious return.
(Part Two coming soon – stay tuned!)
Wear your crown. Carry your sword. – Maria
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Let’s talk about parenting. Because parents can be enormously damaging. Or enormously life-giving (but those can be more rare – just stating the facts, ma’am).
I think that the general purpose of parents has been greatly lost in recent years, so here’s my take on 2 secrets about parenting that will bring clarity to your overall perspective and hopefully remind you of the truth while giving you some hope!
On the parent’s part:
Parenting is about being parented. That’s it.
It’s not actually supposed to be about the child/ren much at all, especially as an end. It’s really about coming to terms with one’s own relationship with the Ultimate Father – God – and being found in a situation where one is constantly forced to face their own inadequacies, sinful selfishness, and humiliating lack of understanding and control. (Ask me how I know this.)
It’s about coming to a point of reliance on the great and merciful supply of daily wisdom and strength that God alone can give. It’s about surrendering pride and appearances and being willing to endure pain and possible rejection for another’s highest good.
On the child’s part:
Parenting is really about being stewarded, discipled, and trained toward an understanding and belief in this same Ultimate Father as their true parent – because any sort of replacement of the human parent for reliance on their Father God is going to be a letdown.
Human parents are going to disappoint their children, fail them, and hurt them – probably often, hopefully mostly unintentionally.
(If you are feeling reactive to that last statement, check your pride – those of us who are being honest with ourselves are nodding in rueful agreement.)
In spite of their inherent imperfection, the parent’s true role is to provide loving care and physical, mental, and emotional nourishment in such a way that the child has no impediment to seeing their heavenly Father’s love and care reflected by the parent.
By doing so, parents are creating the opportunity for children to begin their own relationship with him, with the hope that they love Him far more than they love their parents.
This is the ultimate goal of parenting.
(And yes, teaching them to say please, brush their teeth, and wear deodorant is also helpful – but not the ultimate goal.)
Why we fail is because we keep forgetting who we are and our true role: stewards, managers, and tutors serving an all-powerful and all-knowing King. We are in charge of raising HIS children with their eternal souls to become valuable, purposeful and reverent royal citizens in the King’s eternal Kingdom – not ours. And each person who parents another will be held accountable for our stewardship to the Father-King.
We were created to find our deepest joy and richest purpose in our Ultimate Father, not in flawed human parents.
And that’s why so many well-intentioned, loving parents get it wrong.
Because it’s not about us or our children – it’s about our King. If that clarity of focus is lost – no matter how loving or “religious” or protecting – that parent has become an impediment to the child’s greatest good.
The overwhelming love and protection we feel for our children is only a microbial drop compared to the deep sea of love our Father has for us – allowing us to get a glimpse of his heart and love, enabling us to persevere in our work of parenting while rejoicing and comforted in our own relationship with him.
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children...
- Deuteronomy 6:6-7a
Wear Your Crown, Carry Your Sword. – Maria Miller
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Your child is an eternal soul in a transient body.
Pardon my bluntness, but from what I understand, as a human, there is a 100% chance of death.
This may seem like a grim thought, but it really needs to be considered. Because how else will we decide how to live, how to spend the life we have been given, if we do not first understand that we only have it for a relatively brief span of time?
How else would we recognize the immense precious worth of the moments we have been given now to impact not only our children, but through them, their children and children’s children?
A common current way of thinking is to work to establish a ‘kingdom’ in one’s own lifetime, of things, money, and a reputation that will bring a sense of success or value while one is alive. But a far more reasonable and worthwhile mentality is that, while recognizing our own mortality, we deliberately aim to produce value and lasting impact for when we are no longer here.
The best way to do this is to invest in our children’s character and relationship with their Creator-King.
As immortal souls, they truly will be one lasting thing that we will have had the privilege of helping create while on earth. Businesses may close, wealth may be spent and pass to others, reputation and significance will fade. But to impact another person’s character – to help imprint them and shift them from one aspect into something different – that is to bear the weight of co-creation, in a way. It’s working to build up a Kingdom that is going to last through eternity – God’s Kingdom.
That God has seen fit to allow such a flawed and imperfect person as myself the exquisite honor of using my time and efforts to guide my eight young children’s minds and hearts on a path that leads towards Him is something truly incredible. How I choose to steward my time with them impacts their minds, hearts, and lives. I have the opportunity to shape these eight little people like no other human will.
So how am I using this season I am assigned to this work? How are you using the time you have?
Once we recognize our limited time given for this task, not only because we are all mortal, but because there is only a relatively short span when we have the undivided attention and respect of our children when they are young, parenting becomes (rightfully) something we should look at with seriousness and earnestness.
And probably a little something akin to a holy panic.
Because how in the world are we actually supposed to do this?!?
Exactly.
Again to be quite blunt: We’re not. Our job is to enable God to do His in the hearts and minds of our children, while allowing Him full authority over our own.
We are to be the under-gardeners. The under-shepherds. The teaching assistants, the mentors, the stewards, the butlers and housekeepers. None of it is truly ours to hold in the first place.
It all belongs to the Great Overseer of our souls, our Good Shepherd, our Teacher, Master Gardener, High King and Lord of all. We can find comfort knowing that our children are ultimately not our responsibility, but our Father’s.
He is the One who will plant the seeds – we are to help keep the soil soft and as weed-free as we can, watering and fertilizing, building fences and staying vigilant to keep marauders and pests out.
He is the One who the sheep listen to – we are to help guard the lambs and teach them to know His voice and follow Him quickly to find life-giving food, clear water, and nurturing care.
He is the Teacher – we are to help with the lessons and homework He gives, provide encouragement and pointers during hard tests, and cheer and congratulate when successful learning takes place.
And in that knowledge, we can find the galvanizing reality that we will answer to Him for how we have spent our time with the littles in our charge, whether they be our own children or anyone in need of guidance and discipleship that He has brought into our lives in the season we’re in now.
He has chosen each of us specifically for good works that He has planned out for us before time began (Ephesians 2:10). So, we can find the strength, hope, wisdom, love, and courage to walk in those works only as we daily seek direction and help from our Father.
There is a saying that God has no grandchildren. Our faith is ours, and our children must grow and develop their own faith-relationship with Him. Our job, then, is to enable and encourage and guide that relationship, not to try to be a representative or surrogate for them to God. It would perhaps be more accurate to say that God wants you to represent Him to your children!
We should disciple and teach our children while holding the idea that eventually they will become mature adults and followers of Christ – and as such, will become our brothers and sisters in God’s kingdom. This means we should behave toward them with the respect, kindness, and grace we would give others outside our family, and not grow careless or lazy in how we treat or train our children, even when they are young.
“Who then is adequate for such a task as this?” (2 Corinthians 2:16). As stunning and overwhelming as it may seem, if you are a parent or a caregiver of young children, God has chosen you to carry out this awesome task. And He promises to give you everything you need for it:
“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”
(2 Corinthians 9:8, NIV)
“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” (2 Corinthians 4:7, NLT, emphasis mine)
Our children don’t need us to be perfect. They already know we’re not. They just need us to keep shining out the Light through our broken places so that they can see the path toward our perfect God for themselves.
And the brighter the better.
We are not promised tomorrow. Let’s make the most of the time we have today.
Make a commitment to yourself and to God today to be the parent He has called you to be. Pray and commit yourself and your kids to Him entirely. Want extra accountability? I would love to hear your story! Send me a reply, and I will read it and pray for you. Parenting is a high and challenging calling, my friend.
How can you get these beautiful printable parenting reminder cards? [In both English and Spanish!] I’ll send them to you – free – in your email! Sign up below or in the toolbar on the right and I’ll get them to you ASAP!
Have you ever noticed how sometimes you think you know something, but then you have to explain it or teach it to someone else, and as you do, that’s when you realize that it is suddenly clear to you for truly the first time?
For me it’s like a shot of excitement and even adrenaline as I experience the joy of learning. My kids sometimes just stare at me as I get enthusiastic and start waving my arms around, coming up with all kinds of (sometimes kooky) metaphors and analogies to get them as excited as I am. (I guess I’m making it clear that I am a total nerd. Often.)
The act of teaching it to someone else helped me learn!I’ve read that this is a common experience.
I think this is why God often allows our life to hold other people who need to learn something from us. Whether it’s our children, our younger siblings, our colleagues, or our clients, He’s graciously givingus the opportunity to learn something well by needing to teach it to others.
In my life I am constantly humbled by how little I know – but because I am constantly parenting my kids, I am (usually) thrilled to find I have the opportunity to learn things alongside my kids each day!
For me I find these learning moments often come during our family devotional or Scripture-reading times, or when I’m expounding on some theological truth to my children – and I’m overcome with tears because an aspect of God’s goodness or beauty suddenly became clarified to me.
These are moments of God’s grace. This experience is like a little love-note from my Father, who never gives up on me and who knows exactly what I need, every single day.
I’ve decided, in fact, that pretty much every time my family has a devotional or reads the Bible together, it seems that God is more interested in changing my heart and helping me learn something from His Word than about me making sure my children understand each theological nuance.
And maybe that’s what’s important. Teaching may really be about learning.
I’m going to be in a better place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually if I’m staying humble and listening to MY Father. I appear to teach better – in no matter what sphere of influence – when I’m also an eager and listening student.
So what are the places in your life where you have been given the role of teacher? And have you found, too, that often those are the areas where you can be startled by discovering your own learning growth, even as you teach?
I challenge you to ask God for a humble, learning heart. Give Him the permission to surprise you with a fresh discovery and brilliant illumination in a place in life or a topic you already thought you knew with your eyes closed.
The revelations come like a sting of joy. And it’s worth every ounce of the humble courage it takes to receive them with open hands and gratitude.
I’m so excited for us both as we continue to grow and learn and delight in fresh discoveries!
What’s something you learned recently that was surprising and unexpected in a good way?
Send me your response and let me know! Also, if you haven’t yet, sign up for your free set of 5 Parenting Reminder Cards printable and I’ll get those sent to you ASAP!
In a large family with so many littles, I’ve had to streamline and simplify how I teach reading.
I use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons (by Siegfied Engelmann, Phyllis Haddox & Elaine Bruner, Touchstone Publishing) with a significant twist!
This battered copy has been through six children so far… starting the seventh sometime later this year!
If you are at all familiar with this book, you know that the sounds and words to be taught are in a large, bold font. After the first introductory lessons which do not have stories, each lesson has a simple picture with a “story” (some of only a sentence or two, others much longer) for the child to read which practices the sounds and words they learned. (Some of these stories are a hoot, and my children grew to anticipate whatever funny story they would read that day!)
This book uses a special orthographic (how words are spelled) font so that children become familiar with the sounds certain letters make without being confused by sound rules.
Each lesson also comes with a carefully detailed script – both for the parent to say/teach (in pink print) and an expected response from the child for each lesson. They also give writing exercises, rhyming activities, picture comprehension questions, and multiple questions/answers throughout each lesson.
Confession time: I only focus on the bold print when I teach my children reading from this book.
Yep, I brazenly ignore all the fine print, writing exercises, rhyming, and multiple admonishments for repeated readings. (I know, shocking!)
This way there is a lot less drag and irritation from the slow progress, and my kids and I can zip through the first several lessons without even breaking a sweat. Because the book starts very simply, teaching only two sounds in the first lesson, then slowly building each time, I often find that my child can easily cover multiple lessons in the early days, then as the reading increases and the stories at the end become a little longer, we “slow down” to about two or so for each reading session. (One of my children was so excited by her progress that she insisted on covering about four to five lessons each time we worked on her reading!)
Here’s my method in the madness, broken down:
1. I use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but teach using only the bold text without following the script.
I use it as a resource, not a mandated method. My kids react with irritation if I try to slowly go through all fine-print script, slowing us all down and increasing frustration. When I let it go, they start to fly through the lessons with increasing enthusiasm and excitement. It is an easy choice.
2. I use the actual lessons as a general guide, but go at the pace my child sets, rather than insisting he/she completes a set number of lessons or pages.
If we are struggling through one lesson and don’t even finish and ten minutes is up, I often say cheerily, “OK, let’s get to the end of this line (or to the bottom of this page) and then let’s stop for the day! Great work so far!” because then my child knows the end is in sight and is encouraged to keep going for just a little longer.
I try to generally aim for about ten minutes at least for “reading time” with me, in addition to whatever books they read to themselves or each other before bedtime or during quiet time.
Once in a while, I know my child is just being a punk and decided that he/she doesn’t feel like doing the work of reading that day. So then I will tell them that they need to complete a page (or a lesson) before moving on to another activity (like playing), and if they refuse, they will lose that other activity. As the mom of my kids, I can tell when it’s totally an attitude thing versus a real problem like an illness or exhaustion or low blood sugar.
Even though I want reading to be enjoyable, sometimes getting to that point will be work. And teaching my child that work is part of life is never a bad thing.
3. I often fit “reading time” in with normal life. This means that after we get through the initial lessons and my child is more confident in reading, I often have a child sitting (or lying!) on a mat on the kitchen floor next to me or sitting on the couch, reading aloud, while I clean up breakfast dishes, fold laundry, or cook dinner. I stay close and keep an eye on their book and can usually direct them easily if they make an error or need a reminder about a certain sound, or can chat with them about the picture and discuss the story.
This way I can get through about two or three children’s reading lessons (usually the most I have in this learning stage is three kids at a time) while still getting through the regular household things that I need to accomplish for our family.
4. I never insist that we finish the book!
I have experienced now with several children that by the time they reach around lesson 75 (three-quarters of the way through the book), they have enough confidence and reading skills that they have already begun reading other books that they themselves have chosen, on topics they find interesting. THIS IS SUCCESS.
Some of my kids never go back to 100 Easy Lessons because they self-teach new words and sounds through other materials. (Often later they go back and read the fun stories at the end of each lesson, merely as an entertainment rather than a scholastic endeavor.)
And I cheerily put it back on the shelf to wait for the next upcoming reader, knowing it has successfully completed its mission of helping me teach reading to my child.
Booyah! Victory.
There you have it, the basic way I teach reading in my home. Up next: Part Three: How I cope with specific challenges like wiggly kids, meltdown-days, and learning difficulties.
5 Things I Do to Create a Home Where Readers Thrive
My five-year-old, starting yet another chapter book.
Of my eight children aged 11 to 2 years, six are reading, most of them with great proficiency. My earliest reader was one of my sons, while he was still 3 years old. Our adopted son is also reading well within his age group, despite coming from another country with an entirely different language and no prior English experience.
The average age of children starting reading in our home is about age 4. I laugh and think by now it’s usually a matter of survival – with so many books and reading siblings around, the younger ones think it’s absolutely typical, and just figure that the earlier they get started the sooner they can join the fun!
Now I find myself frequently frustrated that someone is so lost in a book that they have neglected their chores or forgot to shower or are oblivious to my calling that dinner is on the table!
While a house full of bookworms lost in stacks of books is a commonplace scene for me, I have to admit that this is not just by chance.
Creating an environment where readers thrive is an intentional choice. As a parent, I have a direct impact on how my children view reading and books based on how I choose to incorporate them in our home.
Creating a Home Where Readers Thrive
We make space for books. While this may seem obvious, it is nonetheless important to note. Are there bookshelves or cupboards available for your children’s books which are easily accessible to them? Is there enough room for their libraries to grow as they do? Are shelves or places where books can be stored cluttered with other things like toys, games, knick-knacks, or outdated board books? Having a dedicated place for reading books is a great start to growing dedicated readers.
In our home we have many bookshelves – in fact, pretty much every room in the house has at least one bookshelf (except the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry room). This means that we live in an environment surrounded by many books and it makes me so happy!
I have extra bins on the hearth in the living room that are specifically designated for the plethora of library books we lug home (I try limiting the number per kid but thus far I have been wildly unsuccessful). This helps keep the books more organized as well.
Books on lower shelves are generally designated for the younger children. Special reference books or more costly classics and adult literature are higher and thus less likely to be damaged by toddlers.
We make places for comfortable reading. Some of my kids want to read flopped on the floor on their bellies. Some love snuggling on the couch with blankets and throw pillows. Some wedge themselves tightly in the corner between the wall and the piano with their book. Some hide in their bed, some sit outside on a blanket… you get the picture. Each child has a preferred way of reading that allows them to be comfortable and concentrate.
If I want to encourage an environment of reading, it’s in my best interest to help enable the comfort of my reader, whether by providing a basket of smaller (easily washable) blankets in the living room, some durable floor cushions for those who want to lounge on the carpet, or ensuring they have a decent light source in their room (for my older kids). Even finding a smaller, kid-sized table and chairs can encourage reading habits since they are more comfortable in a space that fits them best.
We limit screen time. This one’s important. In order to encourage an atmosphere that fosters reading, I make it a priority to decrease access and exposure to screens, since any screen time (even the educational kind) seems to cause limited attention-span, deter creativity, minimize logical thought, and (in my personal experience) create negative attitudes and behavior that exponentially increases with the amount of screen time. When I notice my kids starting to whine about boredom and wanting to watch something, that’s my cue to carefully assess the time we’ve been permitting in front of a screen and to start assigning more books.
We set the example. The truth is that children will listen to what their parents say, but they are far more likely to imitate the behavior they see. If I want to raise children who are self-motivated learners, careful thinkers, and avid readers, this is the kind of person I need to be myself.
I grew up overseas with limited access to many modern conveniences. Books were something my family considered an essential, and my siblings and I reread our favorite chapter books and classic novels dozens of times. Books were a cherished source of information and entertainment. Now as an adult, being a voracious reader comes naturally to me.
Because my children see me (and their dad) reading often, they hear us getting excited discussing books and stories, and they observe me eagerly anticipating trips to the library, they also have assimilated this excited, positive attitude toward reading because it is normal for our household.
We read to the children. This should perhaps be the most obvious, but it is one of the most crucial pieces to implement in a home that wants to cherish readers. Reading out loud to my children is perhaps the most important way to grow their interest in and love of books.
Stories from the Bible, stories from classic literature, excellent children’s works by authors from around the world, modern fables and ancient myths, fairy tales and heartwarming family stories – humankind has always been fascinated and interested in stories, and my children are no different.
Even as we home school, reading snippets of great books for narration and copywork often whets their appetite for more of the same story, and often creates a need to make a new library run for more books!
Reading to the kids doesn’t have to be a long, onerous burden. Setting a timer for ten minutes, or even starting a routine of reading a chapter aloud of a good book while everyone else pitches in and folds laundry or colors in a coloring book is a way to incorporate reading at home.
Carefully observe your day and see where there are moments that might work for reading – even if it’s for only 10-15 minutes at a time. In a busy household, it’s important to be creative and flexible, but committed to reading.
To recap:
Here’s how we work to intentionally create a home environment that fosters a thriving group of young readers:
1. We make space for books.
2. We create places for reading comfortably.
3. We limit screen time.
4. We set the example.
5. We read to our kids.
Happy reading!
Up next: Part Two: What I Actually Use to Teach My Children How to Read
